Home Again! (1/4, afternoon, open)

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru laughed, "Yes, dear, but by not my type, I kind of meant that he's male." She winked to the queen, glad to see her relaxed and seeing much more of the brilliant young woman who loved whole heartedly even when others told her not to. "Why poor Motoki?"

"You're being smart, Usagi. I know it has to be difficult, and I want you to feel free to talk to myself or Haruka about it as much as you need to." She smiled warmly, "We have been through it. We were lucky, we went through it when we were younger... our history in this life was much less than yours is. But we do understand." She knew that Haruka would not mind her speaking for her in this situation."

"You're going to be fine, Usagi. I know I've already said it, but I'm proud of you. Just... don't lose yourself in the process."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi flushed. "Oh. Yes. Male. Right. Well. I didn't know if you were... entirely, I mean... some people like both..." she stammered out, trying and failing to say that some people liked both men and women.

"Poor Motoki because he was unwittingly the focus of my fantasies and longings. For awhile I thought I was going to marry him and Tuxedo Kamen both. I was that stuck on him. And then I found out he had a girlfriend," Usagi laughed.

"Thank you," Usagi said sincerely, in response to several remarks of Michiru's. She wasn't sure what to say to Michiru saying not to lose herself in the process. Was that referring to Mamoru, or something else? She wasn't sure.

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru smiled. She knew that there were few who would ever get to see the queen so completely unguarded, and so completely and totally herself. "Yes, there are many who are bisexual, probably more than care to admit it to even themselves or even know it. But I'm not one of them. And it's fine, Usagi-chan. I find it cute that you're still able to get flustered by it though." She winked over to her.

"Oooh, already were planning on your own Harem were you?" She giggled. "Well, you are queen of the world, I suppose we can make that happen for you if you wish."

"You're welcome, Usagi. I know it probably feels like it." She turned serious for a moment, "But you're not alone, Usagi. Not in any of this. Even you cannot carry the whole weight of the world on your shoulders. Nor should you have to." Michiru had been referring to everything, to dating, to ruling, to all of it.

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi laughed. "It was just a fantasy back then, more because I couldn't pick one, than anything. I can't go breaking my own polygamy laws," she joked, winking back.

But things were getting serious again, and Usagi found herself nodding once more.

"I know," she said quietly. Many people had told her that recently, and she still never tired of hearing it.

"Sometimes I wonder I'm right for this," she admitted, picking at a piece of imaginary lint on her suit.

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru smiled and moved from her seat to the couch, gently enveloping her in her arms again, "Usagi, I can't think of anyone else who would be more suited for this. Even without the whole Chaos thing, you are the right person for this."

"Oh, I know, I'm sure you can list off ways that everyone in the world would be better than you. As I said earlier, I think you're the only one who doesn't understand how wonderful you are. Sure, Ami's the genius, and Rei's the spiritually acute one. I won't go through all the girls, because that's not the point."

"What is the point is that you inspire people in a way that none of us can. You believe in us, in all of us. You believe in the world, and even earlier, when you were talking about loving everyone, the whole world. Usagi, I don't know anyone else who can unconditionally love everyone, people they've never met the way you do. You care so much, and yeah, we need to figure out a way for you to care so fully without it destroying you, without it draining you completely." She kissed her forehead, "But I don't know that there is anyone else in the world who can do what you do, Usagi. You may not see it, but those around you do."

She smiled, "Your heart is so big, the power of your love so intense, that you forgive so easily." This time she touched her wrist, making sure that Usagi saw the action, "I couldn't have had I been in your place, and I know why we did it. No, Usagi, you are not only right for this job, you are the one right person in the world for this job."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi stared at Michiru in slack-jawed awe as the woman practically read her mind, right down to the inner senshi being better than her to do this in their own ways. How many hours had she spent convincing herself that not one but all of the girls would be more suited to this than she was?

"I've come to this for Chaos and one other reason," she muttered, more to herself than Michiru though it was certainly audible. "I've stayed because of Chaos. If it were not for Chaos, I would have walked away." And had Rei followed through on her ultimatum the other day, she would have walked in spite of Chaos. In fact, even now, she wondered if Chaos couldn't be dealt with even if she decided not to be Queen of the world. She could abdicate the throne, and remain on the sidelines, ready to step in when needed when Chaos showed up, but leave the day-to-day business to someone else. She would never go back to being a unknown, and she would always make herself available for advice, but-- she could leave the running of the world in the hands of someone else.

Usagi had reluctantly assumed the mantle of leadership not only because of Chaos, but because the volatile circumstances in the world that left open a large power vacuum. She had only trusted herself amongst the strongmen of the world, to step up and actually give a damn about the people who really mattered-- the innocent civilians caught in a world of uncertainty as governments had fallen. Now that there was order and stability, at least mostly, she could open it up to democratic election, and step back.

But what if she didn't like the person who was elected? What if they were naive or power-hungry? Or a demagogue? She imagined herself in her own appartment, watching some other person ruling the government they had all worked so hard to construct. What would she do, anyway? She always had some vague aspirations for public advocacy for refugees and other victims, once coming out of college. Or social work, or something. But that would keep her in politics. She imagined going through her day without Hikari around, remembering all the crazy things that had happened, about the jokes she would have with her and Maria, or getting lectured by Lucan. Or not getting to meet all of the interesting people she did on a daily basis. The joy of seeing so much accomplished, or royal engagements abroad. The power to stand up and just acknowledge an NGO or inspirational activist, and have that organization's coffers overflow... Or learning so many new things. Watching the generals and admirals proudly salute her as they showed off their battalions. She remembered going over the menu for the ball with Makoto, so happy to show off her friend's skill to the entire world. Ami's plans for the clinic. There was so much good there, so much she just downright loved to do, to be a part of.

Usagi had told Michiru that there were things about it that she loved, she had told Rei that there were so many interesting people to meet. She knew in her heart that there was some fun to this. But perhaps she associated loving power with loving being Queen, and that meant being evil or cynical. It never occurred to her, even after more than a year, that she loved her job. All of her complaining and her stressing, and now she realized that she actually liked being Queen! And would miss it if she left! And that though she couldn't entirely believe she was the best person to rule the world, though Michiru's affirmations did much to take away her fears about being inadequate, she still wouldn't be able to trust anyone else to do it, either.

Yes, it was incredibly stressful, and she would have to find a way to cope with that. Yes, it was beginning to fray her sense of identity and she was resisting its many demands. But Usagi had a sudden epiphany. She was the Queen of Earth. It wasn't just a title anymore, she was Serenity. And she liked it that way!

Usagi pulled herself out of her thoughts to focus on Michiru again, eyes widening at the senshi's gesture to her wrist. Usagi instantly sat up straighter. "You can't seriously be holding onto that? After eight years?" she protested, all thoughts about work and forgiveness and philosophy falling out of her head at that one indication. "That... that doesn't count! That's more than forgiveness, there was... sacrifice involved in that. Your sacrifice. Haruka's. Just because I was deceived at the time doesn't make that any less true."

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru watched as Usagi's emotions and thoughts played out over her face. She saw the slack-jawed awe and tried not to chuckle. Michiru's psychic ability was different from Rei's, but Usagi was not that particularly difficult to read, and Usagi had always been rather disparaging of herself.

She watched as the light of an epiphany, of knowing herself a bit better filled Usagi's eyes, and she wanted to ask her what she had just figured out. She could tell from the expression in her face, from the glint in her eye, that whatever it was had helped the young queen. However, there was no opportunity for her to ask as before she could say anything, Usagi was changing the subject.

For a moment, she grinned at that. There was something perfectly Usagi about the sudden subject change, something sweet and endearing. However, when she realized that the change had been in response to her gesture, the grin changed into a sad smile and she shook her head.

"I don't think I'll ever forget it. So in that sense, Usagi-chan, yes. I will probably never be able to completely let go of it. Eight years or eight hundred years, I don't know that it would make much of a difference. However, dear, you're making my point for me. You can't even understand why we would need forgiveness for that."

She smiled, "However, if you mean do I still beat myself up over it?" She shook her head, "No... We did what we thought we had to." And she would again if she had to. It was what had been described as "brutal loyalty;" it could be painful, but she would not hesitate to bear that pain if it meant protecting Usagi so she could protect the world. Preferably, she would never be required to take the lives of her family again.

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi just looked at Michiru for a moment in understanding. There were many battles in her past that she would not forget. She would never truly forgive herself for what transpired at Mugen Academy-- though the geography of that thought was wrong. She would never really forgive herself for what transpired in the Tau System.

"You're right, I can't understand. It is completely beyond my level of comprehension." Usagi paused for a moment before adding, "but I don't think I want to understand why."

Letting out a small sign of relief, she continued. "All I care about is that you're not, like you said, beating yourself up over it. You did, again, as you said, what you had to. I don't think like that, but I can tell you, I appreciate that you do. That's what makes us all a great team-- that we are so very different."

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru's smile returned, warm and sincere. "And that, among other things, Usagi is why you are right to be the Queen, and why I know I speak for both Haruka and myself when I tell you that we would not follow anyone else." Quite frankly, Michiru had done too much and sacrificed too much to be content with anyone on the throne other than Usagi, but she would not say as much to the young woman. The last thing she needed was more weight upon her shoulders.

She nodded, "I'm glad that we can take the burden of those thoughts for you, Usagi." She squeezed her hand, "And I agree, we are a team and that is what matters. Each of us brings different strengths and perspectives."

"So, Usagi, I think you need to get out of the office. Do something for yourself." She grinned, "Since I'm 'Ms. Perfect Hair and Nails'... I propose a mani-pedi and a massage. With no guilt!"

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi giggled, all seriousness put aside as she sat up straighter and clapped her hands together like a little girl. "Oooh, spa day! Sounds good to me! But you'll come with, right? It's no fun going alone. I need a Swedish deep tissue massage like nothing else, you got that right."

She bounded up from the couch, ready to take off immediately. If it meant spending time with one of her senshi, she was all for it, plus it had been a little while since she had been pampered.

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru chuckled, "Good girl! And of course I'll come with you." She grinned as she stood, amused and pleased to see Usagi's excitement. "I might propose that after today, you make a spa day a requirement... once a week. All Senshi."

She offered Usagi her arm and grinned at her, "I would be honored, Majesty, if you would allow me to escort you to a much needed day of pampering and taking care of yourself so that you may take care of the world."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"All of the senshi?" Usagi teased, walking backwards to the double-doors. "Even Haruka? I don't think Haruka would agree to something like that. And I think I'll make it optional-but-very-strongly-suggested. How's that?"

Beaming and looping her arm through Michiru's, Usagi put on Serious Face and replied: "I graciously accept this invitation from my most humble friend," she winked. Usagi couldn't bring herself to say the word 'servant' even if she was entirely kidding. The wording wasn't quite right, but she just couldn't say it.

"Where should we go?" Usagi mused. To her knowledge there wasn't a real spa on the Palace compound. "You'd probably know better than I do. You can pick!"

[Kaioh Michiru]

Michiru chuckled, "Leave 'Ruka to me. I don't think she would mind so much. Especially if I tell her how much that it would mean to her kitten." She winked to Usagi. For a day out like that, Usagi would be the much better motivation than Michiru, though Michi was sure that she could convince Haruka to do it regardless.

She smiled and kissed her forehead. Usagi's wording was perfect. The Outers served Usagi, but they tended to do it in their own ways. The fact of the matter was that that rarely involved obedience, and so the word "servant" would probably not be entirely accurate even if the young queen was comfortable using it to describe any of the Senshi.

"I know a wonderful spa. It's a very relaxing place. In fact, I think Rei would really like, it's fairly traditional. And everyone is very good at what they do." She smiled warmly to her, knowing that they'd have to go through some red tape to get Usagi there, but a little bit of pampering for the over burdened woman would be a good thing.

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"Really?" Usagi asked, eyes lighting up. It would be wonderful to have all the senshi, Haruka included, get together for a spa day once a week. It would be a wonderful way to touch base with all of the busyness, and relax as well. Plus it would provide an opportunity for everyone to get out of the Palace once a week, too. The idea was getting better and better.

"Ooh, traditional sounds lovely. I could use some zen." Michiru's description made it sound like an oasis in the middle of Crystal Tokyo, and it only increased Usagi's desire to go. "You know... I don't think I ever really been to a spa before. Salon yes, bathhouse yes, hot springs yes, spa no. This will be an experience." She opened the door and had to restrain from skipping out of it. "So... we just have to send a few people along ahead of us, but that shouldn't take too long. It's all low-key, that's what spa days are all about, right?" Usagi was practically giddy to be getting out of the Palace again, especially with her friend and senshi. She didn't really have one-on-one time with Michiru too often, and was beginning to feel quite priveleged. "Ooh, do they have facials?" Usagi asked, bubbling over with her random chatter. "I might want to try one of those. And aromatherapy? I don't think I'll get a brazilian wax, those scare me, they really do. Or some of the more 'medical' procedures they have at spas, like the injections or the lasers or whatever... Oh, if you're ever really really really bored and you, like... need to be entertained or something, ask Lucan what he thinks about Botox injections. Needles," she shuddered. "But manicures, yay! I don't think I'll get acrylics, I'll have to pick a nice color, maybe something SHINY! And..." she went on and on.