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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Jul 23, 2009 2:44:31 GMT -5
Usagi nodded as Mamoru continued to speak, lost for words at the moment, swaying gently on her feet as she stood with him, still overwhelmed by everything. How much things had changed in just a few weeks time...
It was such a role reversal. He was the one coming for her, having 'faith for the both of us.' She was the doubting Thomas, lingering apart from him, uncertain of their future. It just didn't seem real in this moment. Nothing felt real anymore. It must be another couple standing her, she mused, feeling like she was observing herself from afar. The real Usagi and Mamoru would never have broken up in the first place. And until that night, she thought the real Mamoru wouldn't have hidden things from her.
At the moment, it didn't matter how surreal it all felt; it was happening. Usagi wanted to tell him that she believed in him, and she did, but saying those words felt like she would be making a promise that she had no intention of keeping.
Instead, she found herself running a hand over his chest, smoothing out the wet spots from her tears. "Sorry..." Usagi murmured, struck by how she could speak about such a simple, inane thing as a wet spot on his pristine dress shirt, rather than the tumultuous emotions inside her.
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Jul 23, 2009 18:38:44 GMT -5
Mamoru wished he knew what Usagi was thinking, but he didn’t ask. It bothered him only a little that she didn’t actually respond to his words. He hadn’t really expected her to. Words were nice, but they weren’t the same as actions. He would simply need to show her that he meant everything he said.
He rose an eyebrow when she smoothed out the tear stains on his shirt and gave him a murmured sorry. Mamoru didn’t care about his shirt at this time. It could be washed later. Tears certainly weren’t going to ruin it and even if they did it wasn’t the end of the world. He was more concerned with how she was feeling.
Mamoru placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up a bit so that he could look into her eyes as he murmured, “Shirts are washable and not at all important. Are you ok?”
He released Usagi long enough to be able to take her hand and lead her back over to the couch urging her to sit before asking softly, “Can I get you anything Usa? A drink ... anything?”
Mamoru wasn’t certain what to do or say at this point. He didn’t just want to leave, not yet anyway. You couldn’t just have a conversation like that one minute, have someone sobbing painfully into your shirt, and then just leave the next. He wanted to make certain she was alright and anyway he didn’t just want to leave suddenly like that. Besides, he enjoyed being in her company for as long as possible.
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Jul 24, 2009 2:55:54 GMT -5
Usagi's vision blurred again with unshed tears as he lifted her chin up. Perhaps she had to hide behind the watery gaze because it was suddenly hard to look him directly in the eye. She had been teased for so long and by so many people for being a crybaby, that now when she did let go and sob, she almost expected other people to dismiss it or even ridicule it. Mamoru's seriousness was affirming, but that made her slightly uncomfortable, as well. She didn't want to appear as weak, hysterical Usagi... In a way she preferred to minimalize her crying by paying more attention to his clothing than her own feelings.
She felt a bit embarrassed by his question, and then he took her by the hand and lead her to the couch. He was concerned, doting even, making her feel wonder if she was being a bit overdramatic. "No, I'm fine," Usagi insisted in a whisper. "You don't need to get me anything."
After a moment, she stood up. "Let me go wash my face," Usagi excused herself, heading to the bathroom. She took a few minutes to soak her eyes, which were already beginning to burn from the tears and making her feel more fatigued than she did already.
Once finished, she checked her emotions at the door when returning to Mamoru, reentering with her usually cheer, though it was slightly muted in the face of their recent conversation.
"I believe I promised to give you an exclusive look into the fights surrounding my schedule," she smiled.
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Jul 24, 2009 13:53:52 GMT -5
Mamoru searched Usagi’s gaze, dismayed to see that she seemed uncomfortable and embarrassed. What did she have to feel embarrassed about? He coudlnt’ really understand that. Hurt, angry, confused, even fearful as she had been at the ball a time or two; he’d understand all of those. He’d hate them, but he would understand where those feelings were coming from. Embarrassment, he couldn’t figure out what she had to be embarrassed about. He kept his thoughts to himself for the moment however, uncertain what to say.
He nodded a little when she insisted that she was fine and that she didn’t need anything. Mamoru knelt next to the couch, studying her face quietly for a moment before saying gently, “Usa, don’t try to suppress your feelings please? You were hurt. It’s ok to cry, to be upset. If you aren’t comfortable sharing those feelings with me here, crying on my shoulder like you once did, then with someone else.”
Mamoru’s gaze hardened once more and he glanced away in anger, not with her but with himself. “Don’t be like me Usa. I kept my anger bottled up and locked away for years until it finally was too much to deal with and look what happened.” He looked back at her and added, “You don’t want to follow my example.”
When Usagi stood and excused herself to the bathroom, he nodded quietly and moved to sit on the couch to wait on her. When she returned he once again studied her expression. She was cheerful again, though he wasn’t certain if it was a false cheer or not. Inwardly sighing he decided not to continue the previous subject figuring it would only lead them to an argument or at the very least irritation and he didn’t want that. Answering her smile with one of his own, Mamoru rose to his feet and said, “I’d like that. I still find it hard to believe that grown men and women would be having fights over a schedule ...”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Jul 24, 2009 18:46:05 GMT -5
Usagi watched him curiously as he knelt next to the couch. Mamoru was certainly doing a lot of kneeling tonight. She was about to open her mouth and remind him (gently) that he wasn't the best person to be telling her not to suppress her emotions, but then he beat her to it.
Usagi let out a small sigh. "I'm fine," she insisted. "Actually I think this is the first time I've really been fine since this whole thing started."
Upon her return, she was happy that Mamoru was willing to moving on. What was done was done-- and now that he understood, she felt as if they could finally move forward-- both with their conversation, and their lives.
She smirked a bit at his response. "Well... I didn't really read things, but it seems to be people disagreeing about what I should be spending my time doing or how it's done..." she walked over to the large monitor and wiggled the mouse-- she had left it on the screen since he said he wanted to see. The cluttered program with its many layers and conversations more than filled the wide area.
"People are still fighting over things that happened in early December, apparently," she said, clicking on a conversation that a was several hundred messages long. "Hmm... I'm just skimming, but it looks like some last minute changes were made by some political advisors that Hikari and my aides didn't like, and then the press office came to the defense of my advisors..." she scrolled through rapidly, laughing. "Here have a look..." Usagi pushed the mouse in his direction. "I shouldn't be laughing at their obvious misery, but it's so much..."
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