Date at Tamakyu's 1/2 Evening (Usagi/Mamoru)

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi thought back to Mamoru's apartment and then nodded. "That's right, I do remember now. Though in all fairness I never really considered plants decoration. They're beautiful, but I almost saw them more as pets, because they take so much care. And maybe because I killed all my plants, I can't think of them as decoration out of some deep-rooted botany inferiority complex, or something. Not that I did much better with my pets, I'm so glad Luna was able to talk and tell me what she demanded, because I killed every goldfish I ever owned. Poor goldfish... I would barely have them a night before they would go belly up, and then round and round they went, to their watery graves..." She was too polite to say that she flushed them after they died, certainly not at the dinner table. When she was younger she might have cried over all of the goldfish in the past that she cruelly killed by her own negligence, but she managed to hold in her grief this time. Those times in her youth were used to try and teach her about death and the fragility of life, but all of her mother's words about the goldfish going on to a better place, and the proper goldfish burial had only left Usagi with the worry that when she finally croaked, her tombstone would read 'Here lies Tsukino Usagi, Slayer of Goldfish. At least she wasn't flushed after she died.'

"Why not just hop over there, then?" Usagi replied, especially since he seemed willing. "I won't know what they have until I see it. Actually, self-help is a fascinating section, sometimes they have the craziest stuff there." And it was right next to the psychology section as well, maybe she could do a bit of browsing.

"No, I don't think you'll ever be outgoing either, and that's not a bad thing," Usagi agreed. "It takes all different types, after all. And there are downsides to being as unguarded as I am; I'm still pulling knives out of my back from the first year of being Queen. So don't change who you are, Mamoru, just consider how much of yourself that you're willing to show... You have a lot going for you, really. And a lot of people could benefit from it, besides those who already have. That's all I'm saying."

Usagi beamed back at him. "Yup, a smile! You don't have to say anything to anybody at all, if you go through the day and smile at everyone you see, even if they frown at you-- well, it's amazing what can come of it."

She looked up as Masao brought over the edamame, tearing into the soy beans with vigor as soon as the waiter had left. "God, I'm starving..." She had to remember that this was a high-class place, and to not shove things into her mouth. And edamame could be tricky, you never knew if you'd pop a bean out of its shell and hit somebody in the eye. Someone as clumsy as her had to beware!

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru shrugged lightly and said, “I’ve never had a goldfish or any sort of pet before so I wouldn’t know how hard they were to take care of, but plants really aren’t that difficult Usagi. Still, perhaps in a way they are a lot like pets. You do have to take care of them after all, then again there are some plants that take virtually no care at all.”

He grinned and shook his head. “Dinner and the talk first Usagi, then I’ll let you take me over to the bookstore if you really are willing. It might really be interesting to read some of these Self-Help books on learning how to get into the right frame of mind to make small talk and who knows, maybe I’ll learn something.” Mamoru mentally shrugged to himself, perhaps it really would do him some good to read one of these books. Besides, it was never a bad thing to stop at a bookstore. You could always find something worth buying there.

Mamoru nodded, satisfied that she didn’t want him to change who he was fundamentally. “I will consider it Usagi, more then that I’m really going to try.”

He was pleased that he had answered her riddle correctly and even more pleased that the dinner was going relatively good. There had been a few rough spots so far, but overall he really felt as if things were going well. Mamoru had managed to share with her more then he ever had before. It wasn’t perfect yet, but hopefully he had a good start in showing her that he could be the man she wanted and deserved.

Mamoru glanced up when Masao came back with the edamame. Ordinarily he wouldn’t have returned his attention back to Usagi, ignoring the waiter while he did his job. However, this time he gave the man a faint smile and nodded in thanks. After all, there was no better time to try and get rid of old habits then right now.

Turning his attention back to Usagi, Mamoru rose an eyebrow before grinning at her in amusement as she tore into her food with vigor claiming to be starving. He chuckled lightly at her enthusiasm before saying, “They do feed you over at the palace don’t they Usagi? I can’t imagine Makoto and her kitchen is allowing you to go hungry.”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi found herself rolling her eyes at him. "YOU can say that. YOUR plants haven't all shriveled up and died on you within days. YOU probably don't need to be told that perennials will come back after a year, and that if you get an annual, you're screwed. My herbs all died, my geranium died, I had given up, but tried a bonsai-- didn't water it enough. Got another bonsai and watered it too much. Finally got a cactus, because supposedly they were ridiculously easy to care for. I even put it in the bathroom so that it would get all the water that it did need from the moisture after I showered. It was going along so well, until I splashed tons of water on the floor when I had to step out real quick to grab my razor. When I finished showering, I slipped on the water and reached for the first thing my hand fell on-- which happened to be a very spiky cactus. Not only did I spend the next two hours blubbering and plucking cactus spikes out of my hand with tweezers, I had hurt the poor cactus, and it died with in a few days. I think I told you that day that I hurt my hand by being clumsy--" Usagi said, trying to think back. That had been when Mamoru was off studying. "-- but that's how. So, I got this lovely silk fake plant. It was beautiful, from a meter away you'd never know it was fake. I even spritzed perfume on it so it would smell like flowers. Well, guess what? The chemicals in the perfume discolored the plant. I'll let you have the plants-- I've given up."

She raised her eyebrow at him. "Is this 'talk' going to be that difficult that I'd renege on my word of taking you to a bookstore? Don't make me more nervous than I already am!"

Thankful that she ordered an appetizer that actually allowed her to use her hands, Usagi wiped the salt off of her fingers onto the napkin before cracking open another shell and smiling at the steaming beans inside. "Oh, Makoto's amazing," Usagi said automatically. "She's doing such a great job with the kitchens, and I assure you she keeps me well fed-- I just haven't been taking advantage of it much the past few days." She had actually dropped a kilogram and a half, but that could just be normal weight fluctuations. The hangover had taken a lot out of her, she felt quite sick up until noon and still had a pounding headache after that which was only made worse by crying. She had barely touched food on new year's, and had been so picky about what she wanted to eat today that she didn't have much for breakfast, and worked entirely through lunch. Suddenly at the restaurant, she felt like she had just discovered food all over again.

"Don't let me take all of it, though, you can have some too," Usagi offered, even as one of her beans shot out and rolled over the lush carpet under someone's table. Usagi blushed heavily, cringing in her seat. "Let's hope no one saw that. I swear, these things..."

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru just grinned at her in open amusement as she told him her story about the cactus. As far as he was concerned only Usagi could have something like that happen to her. He remembered a day that Usagi had told him she had hurt her hand by being clumsy, though he hadn’t ever imagined anything like this. At the mention of the silk plant however, he couldn’t help laughing and saying, “Usagi, only you could kill a silk plant. You’re right, I think I’ll keep the plants to myself. We’ll just have to forbid you from ever having one for their own safety. Luckily you do have a gardener so that you can enjoy plants around your home as well.”

He shrugged when Usagi asked if the ‘talk’ was going to be so difficult that she’d change her mind about going to the bookstore with him. It wouldn’t necessarily be that difficult for her, for him on the other hand ... probably. Then there was always the possibility that she’d decide she couldn’t stay simply because she was uncomfortable with what he had to say. He was after all going to be telling her that he had no intention of just giving her up without a fight. “There isn’t any need to be nervous, I promise. My conversational skills aren’t so bad that you’re going to be bored. I can assure you of that.”

Mamoru nodded in agreement. When he had been living there, which really had only been two days ago even though I felt like more Makoto had been doing an excellent job with the kitchens. Her cooking skills were amazing. He frowned a little when Usagi mentioned that she hadn’t been taking advantage of her cooking over the last few days. Mamoru was well aware that Usagi loved food. For her not to be eating meant that she was bothered about something. Whether it was some kind of queenly duties bothering her, their broken relationship, something else entirely, or even all of the above Mamoru couldn’t be certain. It bothered him though that she was upset enough that her appetite was being thrown off. Still, perhaps it wasn’t so bad after all she was certainly enjoying her food now.

He was about to reach over and get some of the edamame for himself when one of Usagi’s beans shot out and rolled under someone else’s table. For the third time that night, Mamoru couldn’t help chuckling at his companion as she blushed heavily and cringed in her seat. He gave her an amused smirk before teasingly saying, “Dinner with you is certainly never boring Usagi, that's for sure. Don’t worry about it. It isn’t as if they are going to come over here and complain about how you can’t keep a hold of your food. Maybe they’ll even think of it as an honor, perhaps they'll even take the bean home with them and tell everyone that this was the bean that the queen herself threw at them.”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"Yes, other people's plants in my presence seem to endure, just as long as they're not under my care," Usagi agreed, smiling back at him as he laughed at her stories. "And, you think that was bad, you should have seen how I disposed of the silk plant when I realized it was ruined. Perfume is composed of alcohol, and alcohol is flammable, don't ya know? So I put it in the fireplace at my parent's house, expecting it to just serve as kindling... Well, I lost an inch off of one of my pigtails, that time. I leave the plants to you and Makoto, and I'll leave the fire to Rei, how's that?" Usagi just wasn't good at anything-- she had finally accepted it. Though most of her accidents were due to adolescent clumsiness, she had written herself off and decided not to try too many new things just because she had such a hard time in the past. She was certain that she would fail.

"I'm never nervous about being bored," Usagi replied dryly. She couldn't imagine being bored, not if it really as important as Mamoru insisted it was over the phone. And even if it was, that wasn't something to be nervous about.

Usagi stuck her tongue out at him in mock outrage, forgetting her manners for a moment. "I didn't throw it at anyone! It was a total accident! And they wouldn't be honored, they'd be intrigued, and they'd take the bean home with them and list it for sale on eBay, that's what they'd do... Probably make a fortune. If we weren't in such a nice restaurant, maybe I'd throw a bean at you. YOU can take it home, and ooh and ahh over what an honor it is. Don't say I never gave you nuthin'..."

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru shook his head in amusement as she continued her silk plant story. It was a little unnerving to know that she had come that close to harming herself, but she was ok and it wasn’t like that had been the first time she had almost harmed herself while growing up. He forced himself not to grimace at the mention of Rei, still unhappy with her, whether it was fair or not. Technically he knew very well that Rei had done nothing wrong and that the fault of all of his current troubles rested squarely on his shoulders.

However, knowing that it wasn’t Rei’s fault and being angry at her for being the one that brought his secrets to the attention of Usagi were two entirely different matters. He knew he would get over it eventually, at least he hoped so, but eventually was not now and he didn’t feel capable of feeling charitable thoughts for Rei at the moment.

“Honestly Usagi, I think you don’t give yourself enough credit. You might have difficultly keeping a plant alive, but I’d be willing to bet a lot of people have trouble doing that. As for fire, well that was just a mistake. Don’t sell yourself short, there are tons of things you do better then anyone else. You do know that right?”

Mamoru allowed the matter of the conversation to drop. As far as he was concerned Usagi had no reason to be nervous. All she had to do was listen and then decide whether she was going to walk out and refuse to ever see him again, or actually give him the chance he wanted. He wasn’t ready or willing to discuss it yet and so he didn’t see any reason to continue talking about it.

His smirk only grew as she stuck her tongue at him in mock outrage. “I didn’t say you threw it at them Usagi, I said that would be what they would say and if they did sell it on eBay at least you’d be responsible for making them a fortune.” Mamoru grinned at her when she said maybe she should throw one at him and added, “I would just add it to the long list of other things you’ve thrown at me before ... test papers, shoes, and now beans. People might get jealous of all the honors you bestow upon me, we should probably just leave the bean throwing to other people.

Mamoru reached over for some of the edamame and managed to eat it without having an incident like Usagi did. He grinned at her once more before changing the subject and saying, “I wanted to thank you for introducing me to Khalid the other night, Usagi. That conversation went over very well ...”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"You said it yourself, Mamoru, only I could kill a fake plant," Usagi pointed out with a smile. She wasn't bitter when it came to her place in life, she had just finally accepted it as gospel truth. "Lots of people may not have a green thumb, but I doubt many people are dumb enough to kill a fake one. And I'm good at eating and sleeping, and I'm remarkably talented at screwing everything else up." Her other hobbies were reading manga and playing video games. It didn't take any skill to read manga, and Usagi wasn't even that great at playing video games. But at least those two hobbies didn't end up hurting people, like she managed to do everytime she tried to dance, at least in the past. Or nearly burn the house down, as had happened multiple times with cooking. She never really sang for anyone, except with her friends when rocking out listening to a song, and she was sure that they'd tell her to keep her mouth shut-- she didn't have Minako's talents, or even Rei's. She did choir in high school, but that was about it. Usagi didn't even bother trying to learn how to play an instrument-- she knew she'd be too clumsy for it. Even her favorite class in grade school-- home economics-- she had barely scraped by it. She put needles into her own hands more times than the fabric, was never that great at cleaning, and generally all around managed to vex her teacher. Math-- well, it was a miracle she managed to get into college. She managed to memorize enough formulas and tricks that she passed the exams, but once finishing up the required trig course in college, she never looked back. It was another miracle that she managed to be fluent in English; it was only by making friends in school that would speak the language exclusively with her that she started to get a grasp on it at all. Usagi avoided sports for the same reason she did dancing. No matter what Mamoru said, she thought that they both knew she wasn't really good at anything. It was just her fate, so why even try? She was the idiot of the group, everyone knew that.

"You deserved it! Except for the first test paper, but you deserved it retroactively because you were such a jerk! And I threw a donut at you once, I remember that. You were really mean then. I hadn't had anything to eat or drink for two days, because I was feeling fat, and then I worked out really hard at this fitness club the day before... Thank goodness Motoki was around to catch me when I fainted that day, and then he took me out for lunch and told me I was beautiful just the way I was... so I was enjoying my donuts and along you came to tell me I needed to work out more. I was so devastated." She laughed now recalling the memory, but that had been one time she had been really furious with Mamoru. She certainly hoped he had learned his lesson, one thing a guy should never talk to a teenage girl about was weight or her eating habits.

Speaking of eating, Usagi poked open some more edamame shells and chowed down, smiling back at Mamoru and smiling. "You're welcome, I'm glad it went well for you."

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru frowned, not having meant to add to her lack of self confidence with his words about the silk plant. That hadn’t been his intention, technically he hadn’t realized that her self confidence was so low in the first place. Had he really not been paying attention all these years to have not noticed this? He certainly thought he had been paying attention to his relationship, but the evidence to the contrary continued to smack him in the face at every turn lately.

“Usagi, I was only teasing about the plant you know that. You aren’t dumb and I doubt your friends would like to hear you speaking about yourself in such a manner. You are a very intelligent woman, just look at everything you’ve done. No one helped you through college Usagi, you did it yourself. It might have been hard, but you kept at it. You might not have Ami’s scholarly abilities, but then most people don’t. I’m serious Usa, don’t keep putting yourself down like that.

He paused long enough for his words to be absorbed before adding, “You have talents, maybe not ones that are easily seen, but you do have them. You are caring, loving, and forgiving. You have a talent of getting people to believe in you and in themselves. You bring people together that probably would have never become friends in the first place. The senshi don’t stay with you just because of their duties Usagi, they do it because they love you and they aren’t the only ones ...”

Mamoru shifted a little uncomfortably knowing that he was not only speaking about a lot of the world, but himself as well. He loved her, always would. Hopefully she would believe him when he told her that, at least eventually.

He continued to grin as he said, “I was a jerk yes, but at the time I couldn’t help it. Teasing you became the highlight of my day, the reactions you gave me made all the shoes, tests, and food being thrown at me worth it. When you were yelling, you were paying attention to me instead of Motoki weren’t you?”

Mamoru continued eating some of the edamame, but he left most of it for Usagi. She was enjoying it so much and he wasn’t all that hungry being more nervous about things working out ok tonight. In the interest of keeping her up to date about the Shitennou and in never keeping things from her again he added, “He’s closer to awakening then I thought he’d be Usagi. He hasn’t gotten them yet, but the memories are close to the surface. He called me Endymion, though he didn’t know why.”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi just shrugged nonchalantly. "I appreciate it, Mamoru, but I'm really not saying anything that's untrue or hasn't already been said by someone else. I'm a ditz and a spaz and everyone knows it. As for my friends, I don't doubt they love me, but I'm not saying anything they haven't told me, or at least thought about in the past. And those things you say-- well thank you, I appreciate it, but that's what I would expect out anyone who's a friend or a leader, to be able to deal with people like that. It's not a talent, it's just typical people skills."

She didn't remark on his words about all she had accomplished. There were times that Usagi felt like the biggest liar in the world. Her press secretary and everyone else tried to make it seem like she was this competent, confident, glittering queen who reigned over the earth with wisdom and grace. And she would smile for the cameras and wave and furrow her brow seriously when photographed with government ministers. But she had only taken this job because she knew if she didn't step up, that a dictator or despot would, and even now Usagi thought that many other people, starting with her senshi, would be far better at it than she was. She hadn't accomplished much of anything, she just went on and tried to bring together the best group of people to run the government, to set the mission and see what all they could accomplish when they worked together as a team. Meanwhile, she had neglected her own senshi. She hadn't done anything of real consequence all on her own, she had immense help every step of the way, and still managed to screw up her life in the process.

She was never cut out to be a Sailormoon, or a princess, or a queen. Tsukino Usagi, when deprived of her powers and birthright, was nothing, could do nothing. Though she rebelled against things at first, she learned to do her duty and keep fighting and pushing forward, simply because she had to and people depended on her. And maybe it actually made her worth something; she could belong. Though, more and more she found herself wishing for her typical dream of normalcy, even while knowing it would just make her ordinary and expendable. Normal, she would be a failure in just about every way-- worthless, but at least then she'd be free to fail, without fearing letting other people down. Usagi was acutely aware that her friends and family defined her, it was only with them that she had worth.

Maybe that was part of the reason she pursued Mamoru so hard after she found out about their pasts, their supposed "destiny." Destiny was an iron-clad word, back then she had yet to learn to hate it. Destiny meant that nothing could separate her from Mamoru, that they would always be together, forever. She would always have someone to love and care about her, she would be the most valuable person to someone else, for the rest of her natural life, and then beyond. That was a wonderful feeling-- she would never have to worry about who she was or what she was made for-- because she was made for him! He would make her feel wanted, loved, safe. He could fulfill her dream of being a bride, he could make the dream worthwhile. Mamoru became key to her existence, her own sense of self, no wonder she nearly self-destructed the first time they broke up.

But all those adolescent ideals of romance had faded in the face of reality, and perhaps some truth. That wasn't healthy, was it? She had lost a sense of who she was-- wasn't she happy before Mamoru? Did she really need him to know who she was, and what she wanted? That wasn't fair to him-- or to herself. Or even to the rest of the world that she governed.

If it had been anyone else, would she have felt differently, been any less in love? If it had not been Mamoru, but someone else who stood in the place of Endymion in her past, and future, would she have loved that person? The answer unnerved her. She didn't want to say yes, she wanted to tell herself that she had truly loved Mamoru as she knew him, but... Well, she did care about Mamoru for who he was, that was true. She couldn't say if she wouldn't have fallen in love with someone else, had another man fallen into his place. Part of the attraction was that it was easy-- she was told she should love Mamoru, had loved him in the past, and would in the future, for all time. They had both taken each other for granted, she realized.

Usagi just shook her head at him, smiling. "There are better ways of getting my attention, you know! If you had simply been nice to me, or complimented me, I probably wouldn't have let you out of my sight, at least at that age... Had you done that, I would have forgotten all about Motoki and would have found someone else to crush on."

Blinking in surprise, Usagi looked up from her food to stare at Mamoru. Did he just... volunteer information? Swallowing her surprise as well as her mouthful of soy, Usagi replied: "is that so? Well, that's a promising development. All in that one conversation?"

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru’s frown deepened and he gave her a troubled look, concerned with her outlook on herself. He knew that he wasn’t necessarily to blame for the fact that her sense of self worth was so lacking at least not solely, but he certainly hadn’t helped the situation any. If he had taken the time to notice, perhaps he could have done something before things had gotten this bad.

He briefly wondered if her friends were aware that Usagi viewed herself so poorly. He sighed softly before saying, “Usagi can’t you see how proud everyone is of you? How proud I’ve been of you? You’re wrong, the things you do aren’t something that just anyone can do. It’s not just being a friend or a leader Usa, it’s more then that. Do you think that just anyone could have changed the hearts and minds of some of the evil beings you’ve fought? You aren’t a ditz Usagi, perhaps when you were a teenager but then most teens are like that. Please, just try to think better of yourself. ”

Mamoru fell silent, not really certain what else to say. He wasn’t certain how to go about building her self confidence when she wouldn’t listen to what he was trying to tell her. Considering the fact that he had trouble with his own insecurities and doubts he wasn’t certain he was the right person to be bolstering her confidence, still he didn’t like the thought of her thinking so poorly of herself.

He grinned at her and shook his head before saying, “I know that now Usagi, but then it was different. It wasn’t an especially smart way to go about things, but then at the time I wasn’t certain what it was that I was feeling whenever you were around. I did grow out of that phase at least.” Of course then he had moved into an entirely different phase that eventually ruined his relationship ...

Mamoru nodded and said, “Yeah, it was all in that one conversation. I haven’t had the chance to talk with him again. Still, even though he doesn’t really remember who is yet he still managed to act a lot like Kunzite would have. He was able to give me some advice that I really needed to hear.”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi returned Mamoru's troubled look with a puzzled one. Why was he so stuck on this issue? It wasn't as if she was saying anything different than what she had been told-- in the beginning, didn't he say much of the same things to her? Granted, he was saying now that it was a way to get her attention, but there had to be some truth in it. She could see it, why couldn't he?

At his mention of people being proud of her, Usagi just squirmed a bit as if uncomfortable, rather than beaming as she usually did with a compliment. The truth was, especially now, after the events of the past few days, she felt she didn't deserve such words, or the pride that supposedly went along with it. The senshi were much more level-headed than she was as teenagers, even Minako was lightyears ahead of her. And they still were. She just shrugged, averting her gaze. There was no use arguing about it, especially when he kept saying such nice (but untrue) things. Usagi just thanked him quietly and murmured: "if you say so."

She did smile at his response. "Fair enough, you did. And I did too, or so I'd like to think."

Usagi did her best to cover up her continuing surprise at how much Mamoru was sharing-- by his own volition. She managed to keep it off her face as she focused on committing the conversation to memory; at least she'd be able to take something back to the senshi after all of this. She also had to work hard not to appear to interested, at least for her own agenda, and instead just smiled again, replying: "Well, that's good, advice is always nice." Too bland, too vague, you gotta mean it! Say something else, but not too much else! "I only saw one side of Kunzite before, but Khalid has always been charming."

Just then, Masao came to their table with a tray, as he dispensed their dinners with the sort of economy of movement and precision that high-class waiters were known for. Usagi smiled and thanked him, but he was off as soon as the wine sommelier showed up, suavely presenting a bottle to Mamoru, making sure that the label and the vintage was visible so that he could confirm that it was what he ordered.

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru sighed softly, but allowed the matter to drop when he saw that it was making Usagi uncomfortable. He could see she still didn’t believe him, but he wouldn’t press the subject anymore. He would however, continue to do his best to bolster her confidence from now on. That is if she allowed him to see her again after tonight.

He reached over and rested his hand on hers briefly before drawing back and saying, “Of course you did Usagi, we both grew past those first reactions we had to each other when we first met. Only, only it wasn’t enough was it ...” Mamoru frowned sadly for a fraction of a moment before returning to his previous good natured smile.

Mamoru nodded in response to her saying that she had only seen one side of Kunzite before. He didn’t really know what to say to that so he didn’t say anything at all. Luckily he was saved from having to carry on the conversation by Masao coming with their dinners. As he had the last time, Mamoru made the attempt to at least nod politely toward Masao.

When the wine sommelier showed up presenting a bottle to Mamoru, he glanced at the label and the vintage before confirming that it was what he had ordered. The sommelier then opened the bottle and presented the cork for inspection. Again Mamoru glanced at it to be certain that it hadn’t crumbled or dried out and cracked through. After the cork had been inspected, the sommelier then poured a small sample for Mamoru to taste. Mamoru observed the wine’s color and clarity a moment, as well as the smell. Satisfied that the color and clarity was good and that the wine didn’t have any hint of a vinegar or musty cork smell, Mamoru then tasted the sample to be sure that it was in good condition and free of any apparent oxidation or corked flavors. Satisfied once again, Mamoru gave the sommelier a pleased nod and murmured his thanks.

The sommelier then proceeded to pour some of the wine for both Usagi and Mamoru. After pouring some into their glasses he left the rest for their enjoyment later and left the table to go and serve someone else wine.

Mamoru fell into a thoughtful silence, nibbling at his dinner for a few moments. The food and the wine were every bit as good as he had expected it to be, but he was uneasy. Perhaps he shouldn’t have mentioned Khalid at all, though he was doing his best to try and share information with Usagi before she had to ask for it or found out about it in some other manner. Was he trying too hard though?

He didn’t want Usagi to think he was attempting to give her everything she had wanted without really meaning it. That his trying to be more open and sharing with her was a false gesture. That he was doing what she had been complaining about just to confuse her into coming back to him.

Knowing he couldn’t stay quiet for his entire meal, Mamoru glanced back up to his dinner companion and asked, “You are enjoying your dinner aren’t you Usagi?”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi glanced from the hand he briefly placed atop hers, to Mamoru's face with surprise. The gesture was uncommonly physical for him, like he was reassuring her. It felt nice. She smiled back at him, holding that smile even through his frown as the last words trailed off. "It was enough. After all, we didn't fall apart because we bickered too much." It was what went unsaid, it was taking destiny and each other for granted, it was secrets and the inability to know who they really were. But Usagi did not voice any of that.

Thankfully they were saved for further awkward conversation by the appearance of the waiter, and then the sommelier. Usagi watched with interest was the bottle was presented, and then the cork, and then the tasting. Once her glass was filled, she swirled it gently and sniffed. It had an excellent nose, that was for sure... she looked forward to seeing how it paired with the beef. While Mamoru was occupied with his meal, she reached out and turned the bottle to read the label, eyebrows rising. Louis Jadot Pommard Grands Epenot, 2006, from Burgundy. Definitely a good choice. She rotated the bottle back to its original position, not wanting to get caught ogling the label.

There was nothing quite like cutting into a good cut of meat, and the steak easily parted underneath her knife. It was tender and juicy, and the fragrance was amazing, whetting her appetite. Utilizing the etiquette training that had been shoved down her throat since the moment she decided to accept the crown, she managed to start to eat in a dignified manner, eyes rolling back into her head at the taste. There really was nothing like good food-- and great wine to go with it.

Usagi looked up from her food-induced ecstasy to Mamoru. "Yes, very much," she replied mildly. "It's delicious. And you?" she inquired politely, inwardly a bit disappointed that they had retreated to these pleasantries instead of the good conversation they were having earlier. It felt like a bit of a dance to talk with him, there were so many hints of their previous intimacy, but at every turn she was reminded that in many ways he was a stranger. It was hard to get used to this new relationship, she didn't know what was appropriate and what wasn't.

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru didn’t need Usagi to say the real reasons they had failed. He knew the problems between them. A few days ago he might not have, but he understood all too well now. He shook his head and murmured, “We needed more Usa, I know that. I’m only sorry I didn’t figure that out sooner.”

His previous good cheer returned at the sight of how much Usagi was enjoying her dinner. He needed to restart the conversation. Mamoru knew he couldn’t allow it to just shift back into this silent non talking kind of pleasantries. He was certainly comfortable with silence, but the point of this date was to reconnect with Usagi and to show her that he could be the man that she deserved to have.

Mamoru nodded and said, “I’m enjoying it very much. It’s definitely everything that I’ve heard about it. I’m glad I chose the place.”

He hesitated a moment before asking, “Usagi, I know things haven’t turned out the way we wanted them to, but do you regret the time we’ve spent together?” Mamoru hadn’t really planned on having this kind of discussion until after dinner, but perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to lead into it a little bit.

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"As am I," Usagi replied quietly. She was slowly coming to terms with her own problems in the relationship; the things she neglected to do, and to make clear. It took two, after all, and the blame rested just as much on her shoulders as it did his. She had been the one to end things, at least verbally, but it didn't mean that they would have really had a relationship had she not done so. The events, and the choices that preceded them, merited the severance.

"It is very good," Usagi agreed. "Definitely lives up to its name." She sipped at her wine, telling herself to slow down and just enjoy things. As hungry as she was, it tasted too good to just scarf down.

At Mamoru's question, Usagi sucked in a large breath, holding it for several long moments before letting it out. She carefully set her wine glass down on the table, staring at her plate for another few moments before lifting her head to reply.

"I would be lying if I said that there haven't been moments when I've regretted it. But in general... well, Mamoru, I was so young when we got together... When you're fourteen, you think you're practically an adult, ready to take on the world, but you're really not. The truth is, it's hard to remember a time when you weren't in my life. You're so intertwined in everything that's happened to me since Luna found me, that I can't really seem to separate my life from you. Honestly-- this past week I've had a hard time figuring out who I am without you, and that scares me. Regretting the time I spent with you is like regretting growing up. I just don't have the information to draw off of, in order to envision any other type of life. It's hard enough to imagine the future going forward, than it is to regret the past. Despite what happened between us, I did love you, once. In my own flawed, naive, imperfect way, I loved you, or what I knew of you. And I do firmly believe that it's never a waste of time to love somebody; so I will never truly regret my time with you. And the few moments where I have, it had less to do with you and more to do with the unintended circumstances that surrounded our relationship. I feel like this relationship belongs to everyone but me, us... that I am trapped, no matter what I do. I regret being in a situation where I have to hurt so many people's ideas about what the future is, or could be-- and that includes my own. But no matter how tempting that future is--" she was speaking obliquely about Chibi-Usa, "--the ends can't justify the means. If I've regretted it, it's because of that, not you."