|
|
Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 28, 2009 17:36:21 GMT -5
"I've asked for more than you can give me," Usagi explained sadly, staring up at him still. "I've asked for a man that you cannot or are unwilling to show me. And for that I ought to be sorry." Part of her had hoped that he'd take up the challenge, that maybe they could fall in love all over again, but the task was too great. Like the night before, she wanted him to fight for her, as she had fought for him in the past... But what did it ever get her? Maybe he felt the same...
She nodded slowly when he released her, opening the door and smiling again, though it was tinged with sadness. "Alright, then, let's go." Swallowing, she headed out, down the hallway, pulling on a mask of cheerfulness so that no one would be able to tell what had just transpired. It took tremendous effort, but she wasn't about to give the press or the gossipers the satisfaction.
Once in the ballroom, she made her way over to Khalid. Due to his height he was easy to find, and she brought up a bright smile as she came up to him. "Hello there, I was just looking for you. I wanted to introduce you to Chiba Mamoru, my..." Your what? Ex-fiancé? Why the hell would Khalid ibn Maleec, who doesn't know he's Kunzite, be interested in meeting your ex-fiancé. "...ex. I'm not sure if you know this, but he's extremely accomplished in genetics..." There, that was a start, but... You gotta make this good Usagi, you gotta sell it, otherwise it'll be weird and awkward... Think, think, think.... She was a politician, she could BS it, right? "...he and many others in his field have been concerned about the effect that climate change is having upon the genetic pool. Many pharmaceutical and treatment advances have come from some unlikely places in the natural world... We could be losing some advantages if we don't reverse some of the changes to our environment. So, considering his concerns about this field, I thought of you as the perfect person in which to discuss it..." SOLD! Go me! Oh, yeah! She thanked her lucky stars she had read that National Geographic article in the dental hygienist's office, otherwise she might not have had the idea. It was plenty convincing and she just hoped that Mamoru would get the hint and go along with it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on Apr 28, 2009 18:05:10 GMT -5
Khalid nodded respectfully towards the queen, bowing a touch, but as she spoke immediately, he was not able to greet her formally. He had admit that he had begun to find her reactions to such a greeting amusing, and while it was done out of respect, he found that it had also become slightly teasing. He was amazed that he would consider it that after only meeting her a couple of times.
As she introduced Chiba Mamoru, Khalid felt as if a hand had clenched around his heart and was tightening. Mamoru was not the first person that had made Khalid feel odd. Zacharie brought out a protectiveness that was more than he even felt towards his younger sisters. Minako made him consider opening up and felt right in his arms. Mamoru....Khalid was having a hard time figuring out exactly how Mamoru made him feel.
"It's a pleasure to meet you Chiba-san." Kunzite bowed to him in greeting and respect, and found it odd that he had to fight the impulse to kneel. "I'd be glad to discuss with you the work that we're doing to find alternative fuels and hopefully actually be able to work towards reversing global warming."
Guilt, but I'm used to that... Something more...
|
|
|
|
Post by Chiba Mamoru on Apr 29, 2009 0:35:05 GMT -5
Mamoru briefly wondered if he could be the person that Usagi was asking for. It didn’t seem possible, not really. It had been hard enough to lower his guard a few moments ago and the result of that was to have him dying inside. Sharing was hard for him, maybe it always would be. However, even while he was rejecting the idea, the thought did make him wonder briefly if he shouldn’t be giving up so quickly. He hated the sad smile, but all he did was follow her out the door.
He had no trouble spotting Khalid as Usagi lead him over. Hiroki had been right, this guy couldn’t be anyone other then Kunzite. He wondered how Usagi was planning to introduce him. After all there really was no reason that he could think of that Khalid would be interested in meeting him. However, moments later a thrill of pride ran through him as Usagi successfully came up with a reason. He glanced over at her proudly before turning his complete attention over to Khalid.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you as well Maleec-san.” He nodded respectively in response to Khalid’s bow. Alternative fuels and reversing global warming weren’t really what he wanted to talk about, but it was a start. Anyway, he really did care about such things so it would be an interesting conversation. “What kind of alternative fuels have you been looking into so far?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 29, 2009 1:02:18 GMT -5
She had pulled it off! Usagi allowed herself a mental pat on the back and then listened to Mamoru and Khalid speak. They were both formal, they'd get along swimmingly. Her brief moment of happiness faded, though she managed to keep the expression on her face from changing. Despite their difficult conversation, she found she didn't want to leave Mamoru's side. It just felt so final, so draining... Like someone had died.
"Well! I will leave you gentlemen to your conversation. Maleec-san, we will be seeing each other again soon, I imagine. Chiba-san-- I'll be in touch." She nodded respectfully to both of them, bobbed up and down in a short curtsy, and then turned, walking away. Technically there was supposed to be another bow whenever she left, but Usagi knew that both men were now aware of her opinions on formality, and she wasn't sure she wanted to stand there any longer. It was time to get another drink.
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on Apr 29, 2009 13:50:50 GMT -5
Khalid raised an eyebrow watching the two interact. Usagi had described Mamoru as her ex, but there seemed to be more than that going on, and he felt in his gut that something was just not right about the two of them not being together.
He smirked slightly at Usagi's pointedly informal curtsy. He decided he needed to make a point to be less formal with her, and to make sure that he knew that the formality was meant as friendly teasing rather than anything she'd consider insulting.
"Primarily solar and wind, nothing particularly ground breaking regarding the sources themselves. The bigger issue has to do with better batteries to store and transport the energy so that it can be practical and utilized by everyone rather than just those that have easy access to such resources."
"However, I doubt that is what you want to talk about at a ball." And quite frankly, while he could not explain it, he seriously doubted that that was why Usagi had introduced him. "Why don't we grab a couple of drinks?"
He could not imagine how it was possible that there were so many people at this ball that he'd never met before - or only briefly - that seemed so entirely familiar.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chiba Mamoru on Apr 29, 2009 16:00:36 GMT -5
It took every bit of strength Mamoru possessed to not beg Usagi to stay, to allow her to walk away from him without falling to his knees and pleading with her to not leave him. As it was he watched her go for a few moments before turning his attention back to his companion, doing his best to not allow any of his inner turmoil to be visible.
Mamoru nodded in acknowledgment to what Khalid was saying. “I agree, storing the energy and transporting it would be the bigger problem.” He gave him a wry grin before adding, “You’re right, this isn’t really a conversation to be held at a ball ... though perhaps another time. I really am interested in the subject.”
He hesitated doubtfully when Khalid asked about drinks. Mamoru hadn’t been intending to drink anything tonight, not sure of his tolerance anymore while he was feeling the way he had been lately. He had been miserable the other night, now ... now he knew that he was far from being emotionally stable. He was certainly not ok, even though most people looking at him wouldn’t be able to see past the mask of composure he wore. Still drinking was a good way to break the ice and actually get to know this other half of Kunzite, not to mention it might serve to dull the pain of a broken heart so that he could actually get through the rest of this night.
His decision made Mamoru nodded confidently and said, “That’s a fine idea ...” He would just have to make certain that he didn’t over drink again, just one or two wouldn’t hurt anyone right?
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on Apr 29, 2009 16:24:48 GMT -5
He lead him over to the bar, fortunately for Usagi, it was a big enough bar that they were not able to spot her immediately. "Scotch on the rocks." It was only his second drink of the evening, and the first had been a couple of hours previously, so he was not particularly worried about his judgment becoming clouded.
"It's good to see that the media's portrayal is inaccurate, and that you and the Queen are able to stay on good terms." He raised an eyebrow at Mamoru as the tender brought the drink over to him. "I take it you're working on on how to win her back?" After all, Mamoru would have to be a fool to let her go, and Khalid was fairly certain - though how that was possible bugged him - that this man was no fool.
He took a drink of his scotch and gave Mamoru a look that would allow nothing but honesty.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chiba Mamoru on Apr 29, 2009 21:07:19 GMT -5
Mamoru followed Khalid over to the bar, for once his gaze not automatically seeking out Usagi. He briefly thought about ordering the strongest drink he could think of, but in the end he decided to just go with what Khalid had just ordered. There was no sense in inviting a disaster. “I’ll have the same.
He scowled his displeasure at having the media and the atrocious stories they wrote brought up, but he relaxed seconds later. It certainly wasn’t Khalid’s fault what the media wrote and anyway he was saying that the portrayal had been inaccurate. “As far as I can see, the media rarely portrays something accurately, especially when it has to do with someone’s personal life.”
Mamoru shifted uncomfortably at Khalid’s next comment and for a moment refused to look at his companion. He didn’t want to have this conversation, it brought his pain too close to the surface again. He picked up his drink and took a large gulp of the contents, nearly draining the glass. He turned back to his companion with the intention of giving him a curt answer and then changing the subject to something more comfortable, but then he saw the look.
He cringed inwardly, all thoughts of not answering disappearing. Hiroki had been right. This man might have only been one half of himself, but there was no denying that he was indeed Kunzite. In the past no one could lie to Kunzite when he gave them that look, not even Endymion. Considering that Mamoru was Endymion, he wasn’t immune either and reluctantly found himself answering honestly.
He might have only met Khalid just now, but Kunzite was someone that he knew very well and so it felt almost natural to lower his guard completely once more that night. Out of all the Shitennou, Kunzite was the one who’s advice he’d probably listen to without fail simply because he respected his judgement so very much. He gulped the last of his drink down, waved the tender over for another, and then replied in a tone dull with misery.
“I tried Khalid, she said no. I asked her what I could do, but she said it was impossible. She’s asking for something I don’t know that I can give. I’ve spent my life keeping a small part of myself locked away. I don’t know that I can change as completely as she wants, to become the person she’s asking for, the person she deserves.”
The bartender returned with a new drink and Mamoru took it gratefully, though this time he drank it a lot slower then the previous one.
“She deserves a better man, one that can make her happy. She deserves to be happy Khalid, I can’t do that for her. I’ve hurt her so much, so many times. I can’t do it again. I won’t take that chance.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on Apr 29, 2009 21:23:38 GMT -5
"Slow down." Khalid nodded towards the drink, not stopping him from having a second one, but would definitely prevent him from ordering a third if he drunk this one as quickly as he did the first. "You don't want your judgment clouded tonight."
"What exactly is she asking of you? What did she say, exactly?" He frowned slightly, his expression stern. More than one soldier or employee had gotten that look when they made an excuse as to why they had done something half-assed.
"She does, but tell me why it is that that cannot be with you? And I don't want excuses about the past. Yes, the past has to be acknowledged, and you both may need to heal from some old wounds, but the past is to be learned from, not to control the future. If you want her to be happy, and you want her to be happy with you, then do what it takes."
|
|
|
|
Post by Chiba Mamoru on Apr 29, 2009 22:29:26 GMT -5
Mamoru flushed a little at the rebuke, though he did slow down. Khalid was right after all, he didn’t want a repeat of the other night’s performance nor did he want his judgement clouded.
He hesitated a moment, thinking back to conversation with Usagi. Mamoru needed to think beyond the words that had hurt so much. If he was completely honest with himself, he had fixated on those few words and hadn’t entirely registered the other things she had been saying.
“She wants to be able to trust me, but she doesn’t think that she can. She’s afraid that she might have ...” Mamoru paused briefly, trying to think of the proper words to use. Khalid wouldn’t understand the whole being together in the past thing, not until he had fully awakened anyway. “She’s afraid that we were only together because we felt like that was what we were suppose to do. She said we need more then just the emotions of love. We needed common values, trust, honest communication, commitment to one another, and emotional intimacy. She says that she’d have to start over and that she’d have to get to know me all over again. She’d have to get to know who I really am, all of me. She wants me to be entirely open, no secrets and no holding back.”
He shifted a little uneasily, before continuing. “I know that’s true, all of it. I just don’t know that I can do that. It was hard enough to ask how to win her back in the first place. Habits die hard Khalid, I’d only end up hurting her again. I’d end up keeping something from her again, something that seems small to me at the time or that seems like the right path and only ends in more pain.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on Apr 29, 2009 22:56:41 GMT -5
Khalid raised an eyebrow, "You're telling me that wooing the woman you love is an impossible task?" He shook his head and took a sip of his scotch. For a moment, he sat there, not saying anything, the silence being enough to communicate his disappointment. Of course it was odd that he felt like he had the right to be disappointed in a man he'd just met, but he was getting used to that oddness by now.
"Look, I'll admit that I don't know you. However, I do know, as does everyone by this point, that you're a rather capable man. You've helped save the world several times, and until recently, no one knew that the world even needed saving, much less who it was that was doing it."
He let that sink in for a moment before continuing on, "You can feel sorry for yourself and give up the fight before you've even entered the battle. Or you can get off your ass, stop self-medicating, and do what you need to do. Habits die hard, sure, but sometimes the hardest battle a man will ever have to fight is the one with himself. If you want to be the man worthy of her, worthy of ruling by her side, worthy of respect not just of others but yourself and that extraordinary woman, then you'll fight this battle. And you'll win it."
He placed his hand on the man's shoulder. "You can do it, but you have to." Khalid frowned slightly feeling a surge of energy as he touched Mamoru and for a moment a name danced at the edge of Khalid's mind, just beyod his ability to grasp it.
|
|
|
|
Post by Chiba Mamoru on Apr 30, 2009 0:36:53 GMT -5
Mamoru immediately frowned at Khalid’s first comment. That was what he had been saying, but still to hear it put in so many words bothered him a lot more then he liked. The fact that Khalid seemed disappointed in him didn’t help either. He glared at the ground, sulking just a bit, as Khalid continued with his lecture. He didn’t like what he was hearing. He had wanted Khalid to agree with him, or to at least sympathize with him. He should have expected that he wouldn’t have gotten sympathy from Khalid though, especially since deep inside he knew that what was being said was right. Everything that Khalid was saying was something that he should have heard a long time ago.
He had been feeling sorry for himself. Usagi had done nothing but fight for them during their entire relationship, but the one time when it was up to him to fight he was giving up before he’d even begun. He did want to be the man worthy of Usagi, but so far he had been letting her down. His current behavior certainly wasn’t worthy of someone that was going to rule by her side.
Usagi was an extraordinary woman that was worth so much more then he had been giving her. He had helped save the world several times, fighting battles that were far more treacherous then just killing old habits. Why did he find this so hard anyway? If he loved her as much as he claimed he loved her then it should have been easy to trust her with his secrets, to trust her with his inner most self.
“Maybe you’re right ... I don’t want to lose her. I do love her Khalid.” He paused when he noticed Khalid’s frown and asked, “Are you alright?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on Apr 30, 2009 13:45:26 GMT -5
"Then fight for her, Mamoru. And yes, you probably will hurt her again. And while you probably don't believe this, she'll probably hurt you at some point too. That does not mean that it's not worthy fighting for, or that you can't both get through whatever hurts may come together."
He pulled his hand back from the man's shoulder, very confused as to what just happened. He nodded, the frown dissipating. "I'm fine. Just, felt like I should remember something for a moment there." Normally, Khalid would not have elaborated, but there was something about Mamoru's concern and familiarity that hd brought the fuller answer.
"I realize it sounds trite, Mamoru, but sayings become sayings for a reason. Nothing worth having is ever easy."
|
|
|
|
Post by Chiba Mamoru on Apr 30, 2009 15:46:47 GMT -5
Mamoru nodded, still a little unsure but willing to give it some thought. He didn’t really like the thought of hurting Usagi again, nor the thought of being hurt but he liked the thought of losing Usagi for good even less. To start over, from the beginning ... could he do it?
He narrowed his gaze thoughtfully, hope stirring just a little in the depths of his heart once more. He could court her again, well actually he had never really courted her at all. They had just been, perhaps Usagi was right and they had never been given the chance to get to know each other in this day and time. They were the same people from long ago, but they were also different in many ways what with the different experiences that they had both lived through. He could give her the chance she wanted to get to know him, all of him for who he was. He would make mistakes, no doubt about that, but perhaps all wasn’t as lost as he had first thought.
Mamoru nodded in response to Khalid’s answer, though there was a curious glint of satisfaction and understanding etched in his gaze as he murmured, “I’m sure if it’s something important then you will remember it in due time.”
Wake up soon old friend ...
“Thank you for the advice Khalid, I do appreciate it. I’ve gone about this horribly wrong, but perhaps it isn’t too late to turn things around. It won’t be easy, but she’s worth it ...”
|
|
|
|
Post by Khalid ibn Maleec on May 5, 2009 23:17:56 GMT -5
"There are worse things in the world than having to fight for the woman you love." He smirked and rose his glass in a bit of a salute. He blinked a bit, trying to understand why that sentence seemed... familiar and then shook his head minutely.
He tilted his head and resumed his normal stoic expression, raising an eyebrow slightly. "So what are your plans for this evening? I would not suggest groveling, but I believe there is a traditional kiss at midnight, and you might want to try to keep anyone else from sharing that honor with the Queen."
It was clear that Khalid was awaiting an answer.
|
|
