|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 18, 2009 22:12:48 GMT -5
"It did anyway..." That was a half whispered comment between bites of her sandwich. Though, after last night the pain was different.
She smiled at the grin and the statement. "Good." It was a weak response, and she knew it, but her stomach was knotting.
Ami sighed, setting her sandwich down. "I don't think they wanted to betray us." Yes, she was intentionally using the plural. It was easier, right now, for her to think about them as a group than to think of him specifically. "I really don't have any real information, but... I think they regret it... I think maybe Mamoru is right to trust them."
She was not trying to defend him, nor did she think that keeping the information from Usagi and the rest of them was the right decision at all.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 18, 2009 22:36:56 GMT -5
Makoto heavily swallowed the food that was in her mouth at the mention of the betrayal. She washed down the clump of lettuce with a bit of coffee.
“What do you mean you don't think they wanted to? And they regret it? That sounds like real information to me… Did Mamoru say something to you?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 18, 2009 22:49:12 GMT -5
Ami shook her head, then sighed and nodded. "Not about that, but he did agree to cooperate. He also gave me a name... if he's right and Usagi's right about Maleec-san, then all four have been identified."
She was silent for a moment, having folded her hands in front of her and looking at them as if they were somehow interesting.
"It's more an impression... and perhaps it's wrong to interpolate from one of them to all of them, but I honestly do not think that Mamoru would have trusted them at all if the betrayal had been... I'm not sure. Again, it's merely an impression. I don't have any answers."
She sighed, "I wish I did. I'm sorry. I wish I could make this easier for you, for all of us." But I chickened out... my fear is preventing me from being able to offer Makoto the comfort she could probably use right now. She closed her eyes at that realization. "I'm sorry."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 19, 2009 11:44:41 GMT -5
Makoto leaned back in her seat and stared out the window again. She thought about pinching herself, perhaps all of this was just a dream. Usagi and Mamoru were still going to get married, the Shitennou were still dead and gone, and she would wake up soon and everything would be right. The look on Ami’s face had told her a different story. This was very real.
She furrowed her brows as another thought came to mind. “Mamoru trusts them. But can we trust Mamoru? I mean, he did keep all this hidden from us. I know we’ve only heard Usagi’s side of the story, but…” She sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m really not trying to blame anyone. This is all just so much so fast. Only a couple days ago everything was how we believed it was going to be. And now we have a broken engagement, one re-awakened Shitennou, one on the cusp, and two more that are sure to follow suit.”
She frowned slightly at Ami’s silent distress. “Please don’t be sorry. I don’t think this is anything any of us will be able to tackle individually. We all need to band together and support each other as a team.” Makoto let out another small sigh. “I think we’d all started to lose sight of that…”
Sitting back up straight, she forced a smile. “However, there’s no time like the present to correct it. Banding together again will get us all through it.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 19, 2009 12:36:01 GMT -5
Ami offered Makoto a small smile. "You're right... so I guess I should explain better why I am sorry, and why I believe they're sincerely remorseful. And yes, on this, I think we can trust him. He should have told us, especially once he remembered all of our history with them himself... and he does."
She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, not to shut her sister out but to find courage to explain.
"When I went to see Mamoru last night for Usagi, it occurred to me that... I had an opportunity that I could not pass up." She bit her lip for a moment, "I asked Mamoru if I could speak with him... and he realized who I meant, though it seemed to have taken him a moment. I wanted to ask him..." She took a deep breath, realizing that she kept avoiding his name, "I wanted to ask Zoisite why, but I couldn't bring myself to do so."
"Makoto, he... I don't know if I can explain it. He apologized. He didn't say for what, but he didn't have to. It was him... the him before the fall, before we were enemies. Does that make sense? Except he was clearly hurting too..." She sighed, "He said he wanted me to be happy..." She bit her lip again, not wanting to cry - she had done enough of that last night.
"But I couldn't ask him why. So, I don't know why they betrayed us, or how they could have. And I'm sorry for that. I got selfish and cowardly, and I didn't want to cause him anymore pain. And maybe I didn't want to know the answer. But... I think... if he is representative of all of them... then they can be trusted."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 19, 2009 13:15:12 GMT -5
Makoto’s eyes widened and her voice cracked. “You… You talked… to… to Zoisite?” She sat back again, a pensive look upon her face as she absorbed what Ami had just revealed. Just as quickly as she’d leaned back, she sat up again. “And he apologized?!”
Her mind reeled. It was the Zoisite from before the fall? Would her Nephrite be the same way? Would he really be the Nephrite that she’d fallen in love with all those years ago? Was there really a reason to have hope after all? She bit her own lip, pondering over everything as Ami continued.
“Ami-chan, you’re not selfish! And you’re certainly not a coward! What you did, what you’ve done… The fact that you took the initiative to even try to speak with any of them…” She reached for her sister’s hand. “Thank you, Ami-chan. It took a lot of courage to do that.”
Squeezing Ami’s hand, she smiled again. “I want to trust them, too.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 19, 2009 13:34:14 GMT -5
She smiled slightly at Makoto as her free hand wiped away a stray tear. She nodded, "He said he was sorry. I think it was hard for both of us, neither of us really knew what to say, though he did say he'd come back to me if he could."
"I really think they can be trusted. But even with all that... I don't know about you, but I'm just not able to forgive yet. I want to. I want to so much. But..." her free hand moved to just under her breast bone, "but there are some memories that are simply to painful to just gloss over."
However, the fact that Makoto did not think she'd failed them by not asking those needed questions made her feel better. "I think it's going to take time for all of us. Even if they are good and can be trusted, there's a lot of healing for all of us."
She allowed a small smile, "Though I'm kind of jealous that you have gotten to kiss Nephrite." She wasn't even sure that Zacharie Babineaux would even be attracted to her.
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 19, 2009 15:12:19 GMT -5
Makoto nodded and gave Ami’s hand another squeeze. “I can imagine how hard that must have been for you. For both of you.”
She released Ami’s hand and sat back in her chair again. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do. There’s just so much that’s hit me all of a sudden, I really haven’t had the time to really sift through all my memories. Things are so busy, and I’ve been pushing them aside as best as I can.” She offered a small smile. “But trusting them is a big step in the right direction to both healing and forgiveness.”
A heavy blush rose to her cheeks at Ami’s admission of jealousy. She managed a chuckle. “Don’t be. Every time I’ve so much as looked at him I’ve had a headache or a rush of memories. And every time, I’ve run away from him.” Her chuckle turned into a soft laugh. “Perhaps the third time will be a charm?”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 19, 2009 15:20:49 GMT -5
Ami frowned, now that she fully understood what was causing the headaches, she wondered if there was some way to prevent them - though she didn't want to give Makoto anything too heavy. "Maybe now that you have your memories... they'll stop? Have they gotten any better at all? I'm wary of giving you anything harder - the side affects would be much more difficult, and I don't think you'd appreciate something that would make walking difficult right now."
She frowned a bit as she tried to think about what would be safe to help Makoto without causing her to be unable to function or being addictive.
"You know... I know she's not happy about any of this, but perhaps Rei could help all of us. Some meditation and centering could only help, right?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 19, 2009 15:40:19 GMT -5
“And Dr. Mizuno makes an appearance.” Makoto laughed.
Despite Ami’s frown, Makoto continued smiling. “I seem to be fine for the moment. The headache was at its worst last night, but this morning I’m OK. I suppose the true test will be seeing him again, though I’m not sure that’s going to happen any time soon. We can decide to try something else if things get worse.”
She did, however, wince slightly at the mention of Rei, recalling portions of their conversation from the night before. “Yeah… meditation…” She chuckled again, waving the suggestion off. “I think I’d rather have the drugs.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 19, 2009 15:58:57 GMT -5
Ami chuckled a bit, "I'm allowed to take care of my sisters. Besides, it's not like Chef Kino never puts in an appearance." She winked.
"As long as you're ok, Mako-chan." The fact that Makoto was not arguing about trying something else if it got worse caused Ami to relax.
However, before she could take a bite of her sandwich, Makoto was reacting to the suggestion of meditation rather surprisingly. She raised an eyebrow, "Is something wrong? Why wouldn't you want to meditate? I know that Rei is... less hopeful about the return of the Shitennou, but I don't think she'd hesitate to help any of us deal with our memories..."
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 19, 2009 18:03:53 GMT -5
Makoto laughed and shook her head. “No, everything’s fine. I just, uh, had a ‘chat’ with Rei last night when I got home. I was supposed to have called her while I was out with Nathaniel to let her know I was okay, but after everything happened, I forgot. She was less than thrilled with me…” She took another drink of her coffee before picking up her fork again.
“It’ll all be alright. I’m sure we can talk to her about meditation.” She gave Ami a smile of assurance before taking a bite of salad. “I was just being facetious, really.”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 19, 2009 21:56:47 GMT -5
Ami giggled, "We all take care of each other in our own ways." It was true, and part of what made them work well when they were working together as a team.
She smiled, "That's allowed. Though I think it really can only help. This is so much for all of us, even for Usagi." She wouldn't say 'especially,' because she knew how much she was struggling with and had some idea of Makoto's struggles and even with what Rei shared. She took a bite and after swallowing said, "Something has to right?"
|
|
|
|
Post by Kino Makoto on Mar 20, 2009 15:39:50 GMT -5
Makoto nodded while she chewed on a bite of salad. Meditation would be a good start, definitely.
Her salad didn’t take long to finish and she waved over the waitress for their check. Though thoughts of the previous evening still lingered, she put on her brave face as she pulled money from her purse. “So how about we continue our retail therapy? I hope they’ve got some good sales right now!”
|
|
|
|
Post by Mizuno Ami on Mar 20, 2009 16:24:00 GMT -5
Ami perked up visibly at the mention of "retail therapy" because of exactly what kind of retail they were talking about. "I could definitely use some kind of light reading..." She blushed slightly as she stood, grabbing her purse and jacket. Her secret regarding what she most enjoyed for light reading had been outed a few years before.
She stopped for a moment, thinking about that. "Actually... I'm not sure that's the right kind of thing for me to be reading right now...." She frowned a bit and bit her lip. Shaking her head, she chuckled, "I'm overthinking again." She grinned, "Let's browse, shall we?"
|
|
