*cough* So, Nate was singing annoying songs in the Interrogation thread, and in cbox Lucan playfully threatened to blast Britney Spears... we chatted about it in IMs and here comes another spoof... FYI, I know that in RL music has been used for psyops and some nefarious purposes, however, Lucan wouldn't be that mean, and this is just a joke, so, please don't take it seriously!
(hey Neph! XD *sings* You're my inspiraaaaaatiiooonnnn!) BTW Lucan is writing here in first person... >_>
Lucan's iPod playlist: Music to Interrogate By:Though boundaries must be maintaining with using music during interrogation or help detainees get to a more pliable state of mind, it won't hurt anyone to sit through 40 minutes or so of aural unpleasantness, providing a safe volume is maintained throughout. Just remember to use caution, and if the music is starting to be too much for you, it will be for them, and it's then that you must be humane and shut it off.
Some mixes are better than others, however, in a pinch, a few genres can still be very effective. Any teenybopper "artists" or bands will always give you a good musical palate to work with, and emo bands are also a decent choice. However, I have some personal favorites that I would like to share with you.
1.) Britney Spears - Gimme More
"..Baby One More Time" and "Oops...! I did it again" will always be interrogation classics, but when they first hear "It's Britney, bitch!" they'll know you mean business.
2.)My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay
As soon as they hear this tune full of whining musicians, they won't be okay, either.
3.) Nelly - Hot in Herre
This one is going to stick in their heads for hours. Usually they start to perpire lightly by this point, so the lyrics fit, too.
4.)Village People - YMCA
Need anything be said about this one?
5.) Los Del Rio - Macarena
I've found that at least in 45% of all cases, by the time this one comes on, they're ready to talk to you.
6.) Ace of Base - Beautiful Life
There's nothing like cheery synthesizers and pop lyrics about a beautiful life to make them resent their spartan surroundings.
7.) Beatles - Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
This one is very helpful because they will often stike up conversation about how to intepret these inane lyrics.
8.)The Barney Theme Song
You can't go wrong with Barney.
9.) The Meow Meow Mix Song
If they ever had a cat as a pet (and sadly, some of them do-- most of them I wouldn't trust with animals), this one will make them long for their pet. Capitalize on this critical loneliness for the companionship of a domesticated animal.
10.) The Sesame Street Song
This is a great one to get them talking about their childhoods.
11.) Disney -It's A Small World After All
So is this one. Nearly everyone has been to Disneyland at least once and is willing to reflect on those memories.
12.) Cindy Lauper - Girls Just Want To Have Fun
This one is just plain annoying.
13.) Trace Adkins - Honky Tonk
Same here.
14.) Cher- Believe
And here as well.
15.) Eminem - The Real Slim Shady
They hate this one but they'll be rhyming along with it anyway. If they ever claim to be the real slim shady, you've have this one on repeat for too long.
16.)Rogers and Hammerstein - Oklahoma!
Oooooooooooooooooooooklahoma.
17.) Hanson - Mmm Bop
Only play this one once, to save them (and yourself) some sanity.
18.) Freecreditreport.com jingle
This is a great one for detainees who have a history of financial problems, because they become willing to talk about their credit histories, giving you great leverage.
19.) Billy Ray Cyrus - My Achy Breaky Heart
Some of the songs put out by his daughter, Hannah Montana, will probably be on these lists in the near future.
20.) Baha Men - Who Let the Dogs Out
One hit wonders that are absurdly inane can be remarkably effective.
21.) Celine Dion - My Heart Will Go On
This is a great one to play on repeat. Very handy if you can play it while quoting from Titanic.
22.) Robert John- The Lion Sleeps Tonight
Best to do this one karaoke style; everyone, no matter how much they hate this song, will have to sing along with you.
23.) Wayne Newton - Danke Shoen
Who doesn't remember Ferris Bueller's Day Off?
24.) Ricky Martin - La Vida Loca
25.) Avril Lavigne - Sk8er Boi
"Boyfriend" is a good standby for this song, too.
26.) Aqua - Barbie Song
Now this one will REALLY get them riled!
27.) BeeGees - Stayin' Alive
28.) Katy Perry - I Kissed A Girl
29.) Usher - Yeah
A must-play just because of the repetitive banality of the lyrics.
30.) Gwen Stefani - Hollaback Girl
This shit is bananas, B A N A N A S...
31.) Pussycat Dolls - Don't Cha
32.) Real McCoy - Another Night
33.) Mariah Carey - Touch My Body
"Fantasy" also will stand in for this one.
I highly suggest that you put in a song at the end, for your ears only, to help you relax after hearing all of that. I recommend Mozart or Bach. Remember, never play the music above 75 dB, as that can cause hearing loss.
Best of luck in your (legal, government-sanctioned, humane) detainee interrogations. I hope this list has been of help to you.
~Lucan Felix
We were chatting in c-box about senshi email addresses and I told of how I modeled Usagi's email auto-respond after the White House one and how I sent them an email about Bush's mad ninja skills dodging the flown shoes, because I couldn't think of anything else to write (I was only writing to get the auto-reply!)
