Blond Bonding 1/5 (Usa/Mina)

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi nodded back, the corners of her mouth curving upwards in a bit of a relieved smile. That was exactly how she felt that morning, crucified. There she was, trying to do the right thing, but the experience almost made her wish she had decided to lie about it. Almost.

She frowned as Minako told her story. It seemed like there were several miscommunications involved, but she couldn't be sure. She did know, however, that it had to be fixed.

Her frown deepened as Minako continued, and she once more put her arms about her friend and pulled her in close, resting her chin on Minako's head. She saw her blonde hair mingling with Mina's, and couldn't help a small smile. Sometimes, little things like that could remind her of so much. There were days when she was sure that Minako and her were twins, separated at birth or something. Other times they could be so different.

"Mina..." Usagi said soothingly. "First of all, I don't think you're any less a senshi for going and pursuing your dreams. I want you to live your life. That should be your choice. I don't think you're any less dedicated or able to do your job just because you found a different career."

She sighed. "I was trying to let the others have their own choices, too. I was told I was only pushing people away, but that wasn't my intention. I just didn't realize they already had. I don't know. I guess that I don't think doing different stuff takes away our... senshi-ness. Yeah, I know, I screwed up in that area as well," Usagi sighed. "But... Maybe I'm just stupid, but I feel like I can only take 75% of the responsibility for that. I should have known, but sometimes people just have to tell me straight, too." Usagi could be very literal.

"I've made a lot of mistakes, but...I don't think I'm the only one?" Usagi suggested, not trying to sound as if she was diverting blame from herself. "I was hoping... I was hoping that we could all learn from this. I knew people would be upset, but I was hoping we could use it constructively to figure out what went wrong and how to fix it. Not... rip everything apart a second time. That's what I want, for us to be that team again."

Looking away for a moment, she dropped her voice and said: "But Mina... I know I didn't handle things right, so perhaps there's no use thinking what if, but I'm not sure what you could have done if you were here and knew. I mean, other than preventative measures after it went down, but before..."

[Aino Minako]

She reveled in Usagi's hug, enjoying the embraces she hadn't expected to receive when she first set up this meeting. Then again, she told herself, Usagi was by far the most forgiving of all the senshi. Their queen had given only love even to Galaxia, the senshi who had stolen everyone of importance from Usagi's life without a care for the pain she would endure. Even if they had grown up and changed in the last nine years, forgiveness was simply a part of who Usagi was.

Minako felt a sense of relief wash over her as Usagi confirmed her feelings on her dreams. Rei had insinuated that her career choices shouldn't have mattered, that she shouldn't have left, and that she'd been shirking her duty to her queen by pursuing the dreams she so desperately wanted. Minako had let Rei's words eat at her all week, and she felt a twinge of anger toward the fire senshi for her accusations.

"Thank you, Usagi, for giving us the chance to be the people we always wanted to be. I don't think being people other than senshi diminishes us either. Isn't that exactly what your mother wanted for us? A life in the future where we could live out our dreams without the constant battle with evil. I guess it didn't quite work out that way, but at least we can say we tried.

"Everyone makes mistakes, Usagi! I think you and I are the top of that list. And we all made mistakes in that meeting: you, me, and the others. I suppose the best course of action is to try again? To come to an understanding? Of course we can't know what would have happened if I'd been here, and things could have been exactly the same.. except Rei wouldn't have yelled at me, and I'd like to think that perhaps the situation in the room would have been different. It hasn't been just you who has been divided from the senshi, Usagi. I...."

She paused again. Why was it so hard to say what she was really feeling? She knew it wasn't telling Usagi what her true problem was. It was admitting the problem to herself. She swallowed hard, and then finally spoke, "Since I've been back, I haven't even felt like I was part of this team.... I've felt on my own, more of a tag-along in our get togethers. It's not a good excuse, but I think it was easier to try and stand with the others than stand against them, and I sensed at least that they were angry at you. And I was too, but our collective feelings and the power behind them must have made things worse. I guess. I'm rambling now." Her voice dropped to almost whisper, "Usagi, I feel so lost..."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi closed her eyes at Minako's thanks, hot tears bubbling over and spilling down her face. She felt them drop onto her shirt, and her eyes trembling slightly. She didn't want to just burst out crying, but it one of the most cathartic things she had heard. "I've tried so hard..." she whispered, but it was barely audible. She couldn't finish the sentence, she could only swallow the lump in her throat and nod. "That is what my mother wanted for us... We've had evil, but we've had the chance to live... I don't remember the Silver Millennium, I don't know how I was then... But I think it's important to live as real people, to have that experience. How else will we have the empathy we need to lead them?"

She nodded when Mina said it best to try again. "We have to, obviously. I'm not giving up on things, but the idea of repeating that scares me." Even now her gut wrenched at the idea, she didn't know if she could stand it if things went the same way. "I think I need to speak individually with everyone before we all get together again, though."

Usagi fell silent as Minako went on. "I don't know what to say, Mina-chan. I think you're very much a part of the team, but... I don't know." She rubbed her forehead. It hurt to hear that Mina had turned on her just to feel included with the other senshi, but at least she knew now that she wasn't crazy when she had sensed it that day. "I guess... just reach out to one of the others, ask them how they feel... Makoto, or Ami..." She suddenly felt very tired.

[Aino Minako]

Minako squeezed Usagi's hands softly. She had come here feeling lost, looking for Usagi to help her, only to realize that Usagi was nearly as astray as she was.

"We're those people, from the silver millennium, but we're new people too. Who knows? Maybe our personalities are exactly the same, I don't remember either. But the world is different and you're right Usagi. If we aren't part of the world, how will we understand it? All I've ever wanted, aside from fulfilling my destiny, if you could call it that, was to experience the world through the eyes of an idol. I've done that. I can walk away from now if I have to, but I needed to grow that part of me." She looked at Usagi, "You're the leader of the entire world now... but was that your dream? Usagi? You pushed us all to live a normal life, but did you do the things you wanted?"

Fight after fight after fight: that had been Usagi's life this past week. Mamoru, then the senshi, and who knows who else had put their demands on the queen. "One at a time," Minako said softly, "Even Rei. But don't think you have to fix this alone. We are all part of this team, all five of us... nine if you count the outers. The burden of repairing what we've all broken shouldn't be yours alone."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi squeezed back. "I think it's so important to pursue those things, too, to find out who you really are. I also think choices are important. You know, maybe it was easier in the past-- because we were born into those roles, there were no other options. But I believe in the power of choice... Doesn't it make it more meaningful when we can make an intelligence choice about our futures? To say 'I choose this' rather than 'this is what was chosen for me?' I'm not saying that others haven't done that, I'm just saying... in general, it's important. And it's going to be different for everyone."

She sighed a little at Minako's question. "Being Queen was certainly never my dream, and I happen to think that's a good think. I'm quite mistrustful of people who go through life dreaming about being the most powerful person in the world. I had so many dreams. I wanted to be a bride for the longest time, but I'm starting to realize that even had I fulfilled that, it's not like you can be a bride you're whole life, that's done just once. And I wanted to help people, and have nice things, and see my friends and family happy, and go to some places, and meet new people... my dreams are actually pretty ordinary compared to most."

Usagi closed her eyes for a moment. "I'm glad you feel that way, now I don't feel so alone,"she murmured. "Because I can't do this all by myself. But yes, one at a time."

[Aino Minako]

"And I choose to be an idol, and a singer, and a moviestar, and your friend Usagi. Maybe when it comes to being your protector and a senshi I don't have a choice. I can believe in destiny enough to know that parts of you come with you when you're born. But I still choose to lift my henshen stick and say those words every time I've needed to become Sailor Venus. We all chose. I suppose part of that choice means accepting that responsibility, but I don't think we ever faltered. How many sixteen year old girls could say they'd saved the world five times over, and the future as well? We did everything we were supposed to.. how could it be wrong to do things we wanted to?"

She listened to Usa's own words. "For the queen of the world, I guess they are, but they seem perfect for you Usagi. You've always had more love to give than anyone person could receive. You shine, and I think you'll blind the whole world over before you're finished... perhaps that will be the start of the real Crystal Toyko."

Minako leaned back, her mind recalling the beautiful towers of Crystal palace run down in the future. Endymion had told them of how Usagi had cleansed the world with the silver crystal and the people who accepted its light lived as long as she and the senshi did. "We'll have that peace. You'll find your dreams." Minako still hoped Usagi's dream of being a bride would be fulfilled as well.

"Pick one," Minako said finally of the senshi, "And start there." She paused, drew in a breath, then spoke again. "I should talk to them too.... I have hardly done so since I returned."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

Usagi winced audibly when Minako said she didn't think she had a choice when it came to being her senshi and protector... and exhaled with a small sense of relief as she went on to say that she chose to lift the henshin stick each time.

"We can't change the circumstances we're born into, though I'm not sure I'd call that destiny," she replied slowly. "But we can choose what to do within them... whether or not to accept them."

She smiled softly at Minako's words. "Thank you. But I think this is the real Crystal Tokyo, or at least the beginning..."

But Usagi found herself shaking her head as Minako said they'd have that peace. "I don't think we ever really knew what 'that peace' was, just that there was a peace. Not the work that comes with maintaining it. Though I believe that if we must postpone our dreams in war, we'll never achieve them in peace, either..."

Usagi smiled. "I did pick one; you," she joked. "You're my start. And yes, I would agree with that, I think you should."

[Aino Minako]

"It's only the beginning," Minako replied. "I believe the world will become a better place tomorrow than it is today and I believe you will be the one to bring about that change. There's still... so much pain out there." Maybe there always would be.

She leaned over and hugged Usagi again. "And you're my start too. My first. And I'll talk to Ami and Makoto... and Rei." Because like Artemis said, Minako thought, it all starts with communication.

"Usagi," Minako said softly, "Thank you.."

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"There is," Usagi agreed softly. "But it won't be just me. I can't do it alone, I need you all with me. I need lots of people with me."

She looked up at her friend, biting her lip a moment. "Can you promise me something, Minako? I can't ask you to forget the future we saw when we went with Chibi-Usa... But can I ask you to not expect it? To live where we are and make decisions as they seem right now, instead of how we think they might look in the future we saw? Lately I've felt..." she couldn't finish the sentence, her throat closed up.

"Good," she smiled when Minako also agreed to start talking to the others, but shook her head slightly as she was thanked.

"For what?"