Three Men and Some Drinks (Mamoru/Motoki/Lucan)

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru sighed softly, but he didn’t say anything. He seriously doubted that Lucan had ever done anything like keep secret the fact that the souls of his fiancé and her friends’ former enemies were residing in stones on his bedside table while he occasionally took advice from them. He doubted that Lucan had ever done anything even remotely like that and so he couldn’t see that anything Lucan was saying was actually valid in his case. The art of a good apology, that would probably work for most anything ... the problem being still that he wasn’t actually sorry for what he had done.

He was sorry that he had taken so long to come clean about their existence. He was sorry that Usagi had found out in such a manner. He was even sorry that she felt the way she did, which was something Lucan had just finished saying was a bad way to start an apology. What he wasn’t sorry for and he wasn’t certain he ever could be, was that he had kept them secret at first. He still really believed that he was in the right. Of course what he believed was right might actually still be some fault of his own, perhaps he should bring the matter to the attention of both Hiroki and Nathaniel and see what they thought about it. If they believed that he was wrong, well maybe he really was ... if they didn’t, well then things were no different then they already were right now.

Mamoru guessed that he could have at least heard and validated Usagi’s feelings on the matter instead of insisting that he was right about everything. Hadn’t he already done that though? He had done something like that during the ball, at least he thought he had.

He didn’t voice any of his thoughts out loud. Lucan’s advice was good on principal and he wasn’t about to reject everything the man had just said. He simply didn’t believe that it would work entirely with his own problem. He was suppose to be here for Motoki anyway and not his own problems. He couldn’t pay attention to Motoki if he was caught up in his own ordeal.

When Motoki spoke up about throwing pride out the window, Mamoru couldn’t help wincing. Pride had definitely played a big part in causing him to handle things so badly, probably still was to an extent really. He sighed once more and muttered, “A man can’t really apologize if he doesn’t feel he did anything wrong can he? It would just be a lie wouldn’t it?”

[Furuhata Motoki]

"Thank god," Motoki muttered, even if he'd been rather sure Lucan's words didn't mean anything close to Motoki's rehash of them. There were a lot of things he'd do for love, and a whole lot of things he'd do for Reika, but he wasn't sure if he could sacrifice that much of himself over an issue that he didn't feel entirely in the wrong for. But what Lucan said had made a lot of sense. He could, at the very least take the blame for the lack of communication, along with the piss poor response he'd had when she'd inquried about his behavior. And certainly, he didn't have to make such a huge deal about her pouring the beer down the drain... even if the action had really bothered him while she'd done it.

"You've the right of it, Lucan," Motoki responded, his voice firm. He turned to look at his friend with a more resolute expression on his face. "There are definitely parts of this I can take the blame for, but I'm not going to take it all. I'm just not sure she'll take any of the blame and if she doesn't, well, like you said, I'm not going to lie about the pieces that weren't mine. Still," he lifted his beer in mid-sentence, "We've been married for quite a few years. I hope to god we're not ready to throw it all away on one stupid fight."

He looked over at Mamoru, and like Lucan, he could sense his friend's wheels were turning quickly inside. A nod to show he agreed with Lucan's comment came first, followed by an echo, "Yeah, Mamoru, what's in that head of yours? Spill it."

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru glanced uneasily at his comrades when they asked him to confess to what he had been thinking. He hadn’t meant to turn the conversation towards him. He was suppose to be here for Motoki and anyway he wasn’t entirely certain he cared to explain what his current thoughts had been.

After a moment’s hesitation Mamoru shrugged and gave in to their demands, it was only fair after all. They had both shared things personal to them, besides he was suppose to be working on sharing and maybe just maybe they could help him put it into perspective without having to bother Hiroki and Nathaniel about it.

Mamoru nodded toward Lucan and muttered, “It was just you were saying that everything we had done wrong or thought we had done wrong you had did it twice and twice as bad. I just don’t see you as the type to secretly be taking advice from people your fiancé and her friends believed to be enemies.” He arched an eyebrow slightly and asked, “or am I wrong?”

He drained his glass quickly, but it was a non alcoholic beverage and so it didn’t really serve to make this conversation any easier for him. Mamoru briefly considered getting a beer like Motoki had, but threw the idea out as soon as it entered his thoughts. He had to drive home and so it wouldn’t be a wise idea. He signaled that he was ready for a refill before continuing.

“I’m just having trouble actually feeling as if I did anything wrong. I mean there are some things that I know could have been handled better and I’ll agree with Usa that I probably should have mentioned certain things long before she found them out on her own. It’s just that I started out keeping my secrets for very good reasons and I still don’t see that they were wrong.”

Mamoru knew that Motoki would only have the barest idea of what he was talking about, but he wasn’t certain how much Lucan did or did not know. He had no doubt that Lucan would know a little of what he was referring to, but he waited to see what would be said before he went on.

[Furuhata Motoki]

"You did what you had to do Lucan," Motoki replied after listening to both Mamoru and Lucan talk about their own experiences. He felt comfort in the fact that he wasn't alone in his frustration, although he was sure that all men probably went through a similiar experience. Women were tricky and hard enough to please when you were doing everything right, and he couldn't be expected to be perfect....

"Everyone has secrets, Lucan, whether they think they do or not. There are always pieces of yourself that you keep just for you, no matter how much you love the people in your life. Maybe my secret wasn't a worthwhile secret to keep, but don't I have that right?" Motoki had absolutely no idea what Mamoru was talking about, but he felt that Mamoru would never do anything that intentionally harmed Usagi. He knew his friend well enough. And except for the fact that Reika had decided their family was embarrassed beyond belief because of his arrest, he didn't see how the event truly impacted her. He hadn't even been charged with a crime, and he had nothing on his record. Hell, he'd even made a friend in the process. He wouldn't know Lucan from any other of the queen's security if the man hadn't been there to get them out and drive them home.

"At this point, the damage is done anyway," Motoki muttered. "Now it's just figuring out how to clean up the mess."

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru nodded, feeling a little comforted in the fact that while not exactly what he had been going through, Lucan was correct in saying that he had done something that was probably equally as hurtful. The only difference being Lucan did it for a job, while Mamoru had done it because that was what he felt was right at the time. Finally he just nodded agreement to what Motoki said and murmured, “I can see how that would make it difficult to keep a relationship, but Lucan I still say that you were forced to do it. You had to because of the job you were in, you would have been in real trouble if you hadn’t followed the rules. I on the other hand made the decision I did based on how I felt other people would react without giving them the chance to react at all.”

He shifted a little uncomfortably as Lucan confirmed that he knew what he had been talking about. Mamoru had suspected it of course, why wouldn’t he? Lucan had probably gone to question Usagi the moment Mamoru had made that traitor to the crown comment that day when he had still been living in the palace. Security was Lucan’s job after all and he would need to know what he had meant by Usagi believing he was a traitor to the crown.

Sighing a little Mamoru muttered, “I guess I don’t really want you to say anything at all. There really isn’t anything that you could say I think. Unless of course you have an opinion on whether it was right or wrong in the first place. I do realize that what I believe to be right, might actually be a mistake on my part.” He glanced down at his plate a moment before saying, “You don’t have to tell me that there isn’t any faster way to destroy an emotional intimacy then with a secret. I’ve seen that first hand.”

He turned his attention over to Motoki when his friend spoke up before nodding in agreement. Mamoru did understand that he had shattered Usagi’s trust in him and he could even partially agree with Lucan saying that secrets could destroy relationships and that you could only have one or the other. However, what Motoki said made sense too.

Shrugging Mamoru once again found himself agreeing with his friend, at this point the damage was done. He couldn’t go back and make it where it never happened, he could only go forward and try to clean up the mess.

[Furuhata Motoki]

Motoki listened to Lucan's words and sighed. The man had good advice, but in some ways Motoki could see why his relationships didn't last long. When Lucan gave advice he had a tendency to sound like he was standing at a podium giving a lecture. Motoki had asked for the story and the advice and the comfort and whatever else, but in the end, he really wanted the boys to tell him 'you know what, she's a chick and sometimes they get hormonal and it sucks but you just grit your teeth and bare it and a week later they are sweet and loving and back to jumping under the covers with you like sex is going out of style'.

sighed, "No offence taken, but honestly Lucan., I wasn't looking for the specifics on how my ethics are confused. I don't think either Mamoru and I intended to lie, whether that was believed or not, nor do I always think that silence is wrong. There are plenty of times where silence is the best and only acceptable answer. I can get behind Reika enough to say that this time there were reasons I could have told her about what happened, but I don't think that makes me some horrible husband for not telling her either."

Motoki shrugged. "Anyway, I said it before. Damage is done so I'll head back home, give her a call and figure out a way to be her punching bag long enough for her to forgive me."

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru nodded in response to Lucan’s words. He could understand that he supposed. Lucan could have thought about the woman’s feelings and not got into a relationship at all, or at the least informed her that there was things that he couldn’t tell her. That made sense to him, but he still he couldn’t help saying, “Was it so wrong to want some kind of normalcy like a relationship Lucan? I suppose it was wrong to not let the woman know what she was getting into, but I don’t think anyone can blame you for wanting something.”

He shifted a little uncomfortably when Lucan asked if he seriously wanted his opinion. Mamoru didn’t exactly want an opinion. He wanted to be right and just let the matter drop. However, he knew that he was going to ask both Hiroki and Nate so he might as well ask for Lucan’s opinion. “Yeah, I want your opinion. I can’t say that I’ll agree, but I would like to hear it.”

Mamoru frowned darkly, not liking Lucan’s opinion at all. There had been a small part of him that hoped that Lucan would agree with him. According to Lucan’s theory he had been lying to Usagi, even by just not telling her about the Shitennou. He glanced at Motoki when the other man spoke up and gave him a brief smile, appreciating his words. Turning back to Lucan he said uneasily, “I didn’t keep them secret just because it would have been unpleasant for me, there was also the worry about being able to keep the Shitennou safe Lucan. Way back when I first got them I had to consider their safety as well. I’ll admit that I should have mentioned them long before Usagi and Rei found out, but if I had mentioned them right then and there I still say the Senshi might have decided to destroy them. I couldn’t take that chance, or at least that was the way I felt at the time. Was it wrong to consider their safety? Not all secrets belong to just one man . . .”

Turning back to Motoki he smiled once more and said, “The good news is that Usagi is talking to me again Motoki. If I can get a chance to make things right with her then I’m certain you can as well . . .”