1/1PM Safety Brief (inner senshi/Luna/Lucan)

[Hino Rei]

Rei continued in her silence as Makoto yelled, as Lucan left, as Usagi explained. The entire time she stared at the table, seemingly impassive as a rock. It was during Mina's little tirade that the table began to smoke, faintly, and she had to shut her eyes or set it aflame. On top of it all, the woman chose now to finally start acting like an adult? Well that was helpful, at least, Rei considered, and tried not to feel resentful. After all, that was exactly what she'd been hoping for--she just wished it could have come without such a stimulus.

But Mina wasn't the issue here, as much as Rei would have happily been diverted from the focus at hand. Snapping at Usagi over homework or being late was one thing. Having to bully and poke her into delegating senseless tasks was mildly understandable. But this?

No matter what the explanations for it, Rei didn't understand. The silence from her end of the table continued to grow as, for the first time in her life, the words didn't spring to mind automatically. There was this aching, ever-expanding hole of pure silence in her own mind as she tried to pull her thoughts and feelings together into a logical statement. Again and again her mind reached for something else to be angry at. Minako. Jadeite. Her own stupidity. But each time Rei caught herself reigned it back in.

Her eyes opened again after the silence in the room had stretched on too long and focused on the tiny, blonde girl at the end of the room. The girl they had known so long now. The girl they had given up so much for.

"I love you," Her tired voice finally stated. It was entirely un-japanese of her, but speaking her mind always had been her one true rebellion against the culture she'd had shoved down her throat since birth. Raising one hand, Rei pressed the pads of her index and middle finger to her left temple and rubbed it in slow, weary circles. Her eyes didn't leave Usagi and her voice didn't rise above an even, controlled monotone. "I believe that I always have. In part because Alruna did Serenity, and in part for myself. But there are times, Usagi, when you make me question to what end my loyalty to you lies. Will I renounce it? Never. But to question it..."

Rei pursed her lips. Even she wasn't sure where this was going, but now that she had started it she knew she had to see it through. "Fear is understandable. Had we known what you were going through, or had any ideas at all, then we certainly would have addressed that. We've always been stronger as a team--a statement which you yourself have used against each of us many times in the past.

"None of us were prepared for the technological element to your protection. I believe this has much to do with the same issue certain persons have brought up in reference to our futures as we have known them to be. I could go into the reasons why the future we all knew of has been null and void since the moment we stepped through the time portal but I won't. It isn't relevant, at least not now." The Priestess dropped her hand back to the table before her. She wanted to thump her fingers but restrained herself. Once again she lapsed into silence, but it was her aura that--perhaps--seemed to fill the room. A faint steam began to form in the air between herself and mercury as their powers sought to cancel one another out.

"You speak of having been too scared to tell us what was going on. On worrying about our safety. Each of us understands this fear, all too well, for we've each felt it--for you. Is it reasonable to say that you must not worry for us? No. Because to ask that of you would make you less than Usagi. But I will remind you of something that you, and your administration, seems to have forgotten:

"We, not Lucan or his entourage, are your protectors. Yes, it takes more than five persons to run a kingdom, but none of us are looking for power. We are looking to protect you. To keep you safe and happy and whole. Accepting Lucan as a means of that protection is one thing, but to be as utterly replaced as we have been is another."

Rei tipped her head to one side, the faintest hint of a query to her posture and voice though her eyes boded no want of response. "Unless, of course, Your Highness has no need of us? You have spoken much these past weeks of our duty being our choice, rather than some... compulsion. We've given you our vows over and over again, as we gave them to Serenity and to Serenity's mother. As each of us would give again, if asked, I've little doubt. So it is to wonder, then, how much of this asking is from fear for our wants and how much of it is a sign that you truly have no need of us? If we are so outdated in your eyes, Serenity, then let me be the first to give my resignation."

Mars's mouth tightened for a moment--a single betrayal of weakness--before the political mask her earthly father had gifted her fell once more into place. Her fingers tightened into a fist she wouldn't use. "Minako is right to speak of hypocracy. While I still maintain that Mamoru had no right to do as he did, this borders upon the same, Usagi. Could we keep you safe from everything? No. But there are and were methods you could have used to keep us informed and you chose naught.

"You have apologized for excluding us; fair enough. But I believe it is time that you seriously consider what it is that you wish to make of our positions within your court, both publically and privately, because this informal and altogether unstructured approach is obviously lacking."

Her fist squeezed upon itself once, fighting the knot of anger that wanted her to storm from the room. No, she wasn't going to go fleeing dramatically to brood... Rei forced herself to sit back in her chair with a calculated ease. The only betrayal of her tension was in the clench of her jaw and the hard glint of her eyes.

[Kino Makoto]

Makoto continued to fume as Usagi began her explanation. She tried to absorb the words the Queen was saying, but her anger only grew. Her eyes narrowed as Lucan slid a note to Usagi, and watched as he quickly and quietly left the room. As the door lightly clicked shut, she sat back into her chair with a “hmph” and reached below the table for a piece of metal; a nail, a screw, a brace, anything to discharge the static electricity she was holding on to.

She leaned back in the chair with her arms crossed over her chest as Usagi continued. Frustration built within her, and she fought off all the irrational thoughts that flitted through her mind. Makoto closed her eyes and tried searching for something, anything, to calm her down enough to handle this situation without exploding.
Minako again spoke first. Makoto nodded along with most of what she said, as she shared the same feelings. Of course she’d agree with her sisters…she was sure they ALL were feeling the same way right now. She frowned a bit at Ami’s silence. Even the group’s voice of reason could not find the words. Things were not going well at all.

Next was Rei. There was an extended period of silence between the end of Minako’s words and the beginning of Rei’s. Makoto was tempted to speak up and break that silence herself, but thankfully Rei stepped to the plate first. She found herself again nodding along with everything Rei said as well. It was more than clear that they all shared the same sentiments.

Her eyes widened, however, at the suggestion of disbanding the Senshi and at her offering of a resignation. Would it really come down to this? Had things really fallen apart this badly? She sat in silence as well, her eyes never leaving Rei’s form as she contemplated everything that had been said. She mulled over everything that had happened since the formation of the new government. Everything they’d been asked to do, and everything they hadn’t. Rei was right in that they were not seeking power. They were seeking to continue their sworn responsibility of protecting the Queen, something they hadn’t been allowed to do. She frowned as she remembered all the way back to the Silver Millennium when she’d initially been chosen as the avatar of the gods of Jupiter, and when she’d sworn her loyalty and life to Serenity. She’d made good on that vow, having given her life several times over now without batting an eye.

Her thoughts continued on to the events of the past week, of the breakup with Mamoru, the revelation that the Shitennou were being revived, her own interactions with Nathaniel and now Nephrite. Though their return seemed to be of a peaceful accord, the reason for their return had yet to be discovered. Could this be the prelude to a newer, more powerful enemy, one that they would need the Shitennou’s help with? There were just too many unanswered questions. So many, that the thought of the Senshi team breaking up chilled her bones to the core.

Instead of going as far as Rei had in offering a resignation, she decided to hear what Usagi had to say before making a decision that would affect not only her life, but the lives of billions of people across the planet. So she simply echoed the last of Rei’s words, her own voice strained as she fought back every emotion.

“Yes, Usagi. What is it that you would have us do?”

[Luna]

Luna glanced curiously at Lucan when he wrote something on a piece of paper, however she didn’t know what it was about until she saw Usagi’s response written out. She frowned and twitched her ears uneasily. Could they really have a spy listening to what they were saying? She supposed it was possible, the maid from yesterday morning had already proven to her that some of them weren’t entirely trustworthy. She quickly turned her attention back to Usagi the moment she spoke up, somewhat startled at her vocabulary. It wasn’t normal for Usagi, but then these weren’t normal times.

Luna remained silent through all of Usagi’s explanation. She remained quiet as she listened and watched the senshi respond angrily, only wincing just a bit at Minako’s words regarding Mamoru. She remembered how Usagi had reacted yesterday when she had mentioned something of the same thing and figured the reaction wouldn’t be good here either.

At Rei’s words however she stiffened, the fur along her back rising automatically and her ears flattening against her head in horror as the fiery senshi made her resignation and then Makoto echoed the thought by asking Usagi what it was that she wanted from them. Could things have really degraded this much that the senshi were thinking that they had to leave? That Usagi didn’t want or need them anymore. How had this happened?

She stood in her chair and couldn’t help crying, “You can’t! The senshi have to stay together. You ...” However, her voice faded in to silence as she realized that this was really a question that Usagi must answer. At this point it was only Usagi that could fix this and nothing she could say or do would help.

Luna looked over at Usagi, silently pleading for her to fix things, to make this right again. Usagi wouldn’t be ok without her senshi. This government was sure to fall apart if they left and everything they had worked for would be for nothing. This just couldn’t be happening.

[Neo Queen Serenity]

(OOC: OK, let me know what I need to change here, and I will. Just putting this down; it's not set in stone... Just FYI! Need input on what works and what doesn't.)

Even as she was awash in guilt, a small seed of resentment began to form in Usagi as they went round about again. No mercy from you guys, is there? she thought to herself. Let's just all kick Usagi while she's down! Oh, she knew they'd be angry. They have every right to be, and every right to express it, too. But Rei ought to know from years of experience that yelling and blaming never accomplished much with her. Was it always so necessary, when so angry, to hurt back? It was a natural reaction, to want to reach out and make the other person feel what you were feeling, to wound them. But how was it helping? This was tearing them down.

At Minako's words, she felt a shot of fury go through her heart, though she didn't reveal it, instead choosing to reply calmly. "Yes, it did occur to me, Minako-chan. I did not leave you all out to dry. I took precautions. I didn't handle it the best way, but I did handle it. And the threat and risk assessments, and the reports, and the information has been available to you since the beginning on that. I may not have told you about this incident, but I have never hidden the fact that we are all at risk. That is why I made the Secret Service available to you from the beginning, and to your families. And why I gave you all high-level clearance, and access, and I don't remember being shy about asking you to follow up with it, either." She was not going to take responsibility for that. "However, you do have a point. And Lucan has been pushing me hard for over a year to sit down and have this conversation. He was not happy when he found out I had yet to inform you about this particular incident. Whatever else you may not know may be a result of a miscommunication, which I will take full responsibility for, but neither did I make any attempt to hide it from you. In fact I went to a great deal of trouble to do just the opposite."

She couldn't keep her own voice from rising slightly as she went on: "And furthermore, your lives are not worth 'more' than that of my staff. I may love you all more, I feel closer to you, you are the important people in my life. But I do not and never will have the audacity or the arrogance to rank human life! ALL life is priceless, and I will do my best to protect everyone!" The remark made her angrier than she anticipated.

It was the next remarks about Mamoru that nearly killed her. She felt entirely gutted. She thought she had been prepared for this-- she told herself that someone might say it. Luna had said it. She had agreed with Luna, she was even prepared to agree with them. But Minako went far beyond just saying: 'hey, Usagi, what you did to us is kinda like what Mamoru did... so can't you imagine how we feel right now?' No, interwoven was judgment-- judgment on her decision to split, and in that moment Usagi decided in her heart to never talk to her friend about Mamoru, ever again.

It was a bit rich to have Minako sitting there saying that her secret was worse than 'just four stones in a box,' because just a few days ago, Minako had been in her office demanding to kill those souls once and for all, by far the most militant reaction to Mamoru's secret. Back then she had been saying that they were a threat to the peace of the whole world, and that she, Usagi, had to force Mamoru to give them up.

It felt so incredibly two-faced for Minako to sit there and say that to her, when earlier she was saying that she supported her no matter what. Bullshit. No wonder she asked to speak to Mamoru herself, she didn't trust Usagi and she didn't approve. When did she stop being a person to Minako, instead of just a relationship? She was who she always was-- back when Galaxia was around, she never told the senshi about Mamoru dropping off the face of the earth. They would worry needlessly, and anyway, there wasn't anything to be done. She had pulled these stunts, much less damaging, but still. It wasn't like she had changed all that much. Wanting to speak to Mamoru herself was just that whole 'Goddess of Love' shtick. As far as Usagi was concerned, Minako was through having anything to do with her love life.

"I never said his actions were unforgivable. That is a word you will never hear from my lips. And I don't know who Mamoru has always been-- that was sort of the whole point of breaking up with him. And that's all I have to say about that." Usagi told her calmly, but her gaze was frigid. Any other words about Mamoru would fall upon deaf ears. "By the way," she mentioned as if they were in casual conversation, "the other day you wanted to talk to him. Since we heard back from Ami-chan, and I had a chance to speak with him last night, I think it'd be perfectly fine for you two to chat. So knock yourself out." And why don't you go swear fealty to him while you're at it, she thought poisonously.

And the more she thought about it, the more indignant she became. Minako must have very selective hearing-- the secret was only half of why she ended it with Mamoru, and she had told her that, that and much more. But it was only Minako's opinion, what she wanted Usagi and Mamoru to be, that really mattered. Yes, she had kept something to herself in the beginning, and then later out of forgetfulness. But she didn't keep it a secret purposefully for a whole decade. When she remembered, she told them as quickly as was appropriate. She gave them the explanations they asked for, but in no way tried to justify her behavior. She took responsibility for it, she said she was sorry, and that even though she had the best of intentions, she had screwed up. She wanted to work with them to make sure it didn't happen again. She didn't insult them or belittle them, or try to dominate over them. And that was a hell of lot more than what Mamoru did. Even last night he couldn't say sorry for keeping it a secret, just for keeping it so long. Usagi took the initiative when it came to telling the senshi-- something Mamoru never did with her. She could have buried it once she remembered, she could have told Luna not to tell. Mamoru would have been content to do that-- even when the issue was forced into the open he didn't come and 'fess up to her, she had to call him on it herself. No, despite hating confrontation and screwing up, she walked in here, told the truth, and owned it. That was light-years ahead of what Mamoru had given her-- had given them. With the Shitennou he had shown them the back of their hand, Usagi had to nerve to tell the truth, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

And so Minako expected her to accept Mamoru because he had always been this way? That was acceptable to her friend, that Usagi stay with a man who had keep things from her for ten years? That because it was the way Mamoru came, that his behavior was acceptable, while hers wasn't? That it would be just fine for her to gloss it over with Mamoru-- never demanding more, because he had treated her like that in the past, consistently? And that was the kind of relationship Minako wanted her in? If she knew so much about Mamoru, then she should have warned her off, not deciding it was alright for her to be lied to all along!

Furthermore, when Minako became an idol, she got her own private security, and Usagi didn't recall being asked for permission or how she felt about it. She was sure there were things that happened to Minako while on tour, that they hadn't been told about. They used to be each other's own protection, like Ami said. But she wasn't sulking because she felt like she had been replaced. She wasn't upset because she hadn't been told a thing or two. She wasn't demanding to be Minako's only protection, because she knew that her bodyguards, in that situation, knew more than she did.

Yes, she had done worse than that, much worse. Usagi couldn't deny her own wrongdoing. But if Minako wanted to call her a hypocrite-- well, she had a thing or two to think about that! No, despite her words, Minako was neither not angry, or understanding. "I am telling you the truth," Usagi finally said. "I did honestly forget. I know it sounds unbelievable, but maybe someday you'll understand how it would happen. Why would I tell you all this, and then lie to you about why I didn't mention it before? If I was going to lie I would at least come up with a better reason. Actually if I planned to lie I wouldn't have brought this up at all."

Ami was silent, but the frozenness, and the steam that mingled between Rei and her, was not overlooked. In fact, in the intensity of the moment, her sensory perception seemed heightened, as if she couldn't believe that all of this was real. She was staring down at the notepad, mentally counting the lines as her heart wrenched in turmoil, as Rei began to speak.

Perhaps it was the Priestess' longstanding experience with her that she knew how to phrase things so that Usagi would actually listen, instead of becoming defensive or even more hurt. It wasn't easy to hear, but it was necessary, and that was something that she could respect, even as the formality taunted her.

'Technological' aspect of her security. Usagi had to keep from rolling her eyes in annoyance. Everyone kept talking about tactics, or strategy, or now from Rei-- technology, as if they could simply get Mercury's supercomputer to dual-boot the lastest version of Microsoft Windows, and all of their security woes would be solved. It wasn't simply technological, it was logistical. It was political, and legal. Even if the senshi could handle everything, could clone themselves and be instantly trained in what they needed, à la the Matrix, she wasn't sure she'd be comfortable with it... because, frankly, she was wary of any of them using their powers to combat a human threat. No, the senshi had a different, but more important task. They had to fight Chaos. The Shitennou, Old Earth, these were recent developments, and they needed the senshi, hands down. Lucan was not a means, he was a person, and so was her detail. What did they want her to do, trademark the word protector, or something? She'd make her detail wear fedoras and call themselves the Blues Brothers if it would get this hint of jealousy to stop. It wasn't us vs. them, it wasn't using them as a means to an end. Why couldn't people work together? Though, she realized, this was also mostly her fault. By keeping both sections of her very different types of protectors segregated, no wonder the senshi might view it as a competition. But it wasn't. They had to come together to work as a team.

She kept hearing hints of her conversation with her parents. That night when she sat on the familiar family sofa and confessed to being Sailormoon. Their anger had been so real then, their words so familiar. "We are you your family! We are your protectors! Families tell each other when they're in danger, they don't lie about who they are! We are your family and we are the ones to keep you safe..." And their anger when she had made the mistake of referring to the senshi as her sisters... "We have done nothing but love you since the day you were born, and you replace us so easily, keeping us out of your life... When have you ever asked about what we would want to know! Aren't our lives important? Didn't it occur to you that we might be in danger?" She could hear the strident echoes now. Talking about the past Queen Serenity, and the Silver Millenium had only deterioated the conversation from there. A few days ago, she had phoned her house to tell her parents about the broken engagement. She didn't want them finding out from the papers. "Well," her father had said after a long, cold pause. "I didn't believe he deserved you until now." Until she was crushed by Mamoru's secret...

Rei's next words stunned her, and apparently Luna as well. Makoto echoed them, in a way. Luna's exclaimation, and then begging eyes wanted her to do something... And while a part of her was shocked and afraid of losing her friend, she actually felt a sense of... relief.

She didn't want Rei to resign, anything but. But the fact that the Priestess might be willing to walk about gave her freedom to ask for what she believed the New Earth needed, instead of just what she thought they would want, or what she felt she owed them. It didn't become about her or them in that moment. "Rei, if you resign, I will abdicate," Usagi said simply. "Yes, the sailor senshi are still needed AND wanted. As long as Chaos exists, and he always will, the senshi will be needed. The Shitennou are proof of that-- so is Old Earth! And if the senshi aren't needed, then I'm not either. I accepted this role because of future threats of evil. If your powers aren't necessary, then mine aren't either. If you step down, I will as well, and open the government to democratic election. It's one thing if you didn't want to be a part of it-- New Earth could adapt. But, frankly, it's my preference to have you all at the highest levels. It adds stability, and I think it's important, because Chaos will come back, as I told you several days ago, that the senshi be firmly invested in this institution. You're absolutely right. This laissez-faire management method of mine has not worked out well. What do I want you to do? Well, for one, I would all of you to hold cabinet-level positions. Ami, I have been so impressed with your administration of the hospital. I would want you to serve as Surgeon General, over the Public Health Service Commissioned Corps, one of the seven, or counting the senshi, eight uniformed services. Rei, you are highly respected around the world as being a religious leader. I want you to continue the good work you're already doing, but I want to include more. Makoto, the kitchens are outstanding. Not only are you an amazing cook, you have a real knack for organization. I was particularlly impressed with your idea to give out leftovers of the New Year's food to local shelters. I want you, provided you're willing, to take over management of the gardens and landscaping around the Palace, as well as overseeing global food policies. As we face issues of potential drought and famine, particularlly in Africa, it is critical that I have someone who knows how to efficiently distribute resources. Minako-- we've talked before. You would all be installed in a royal investiture, and have your staff, and be able to start formulating global policy. However, there is something else..." They were going to love this. "...Since cabinet level positions affect so many people, it is a requirement for everyone who serves at that level to have Secret Service protection."

That said, Usagi leaned back into her chair. "Yes, Rei, I could have found a way to tell you, but I didn't. As I said, I was paranoid. You do really stupid, irrational things when you're paranoid. It wasn't right, it doesn't make sense. But what I did, not telling you about this-- it really wasn't about you. It doesn't mean that I don't need you, or want you, or think you are inadequate in any way. It was about me being frightened, and dumb, and inexperienced, and yes-- even scatter-brained, and making some bad decisions. Period. Full stop. End of story. I am sorry for what I did, and it will not happen again."

[Aino Minako]

Minako sank back into her chair as finished talking and waited for Ami to speak. But the senshi of ice remained as frozen in her words as the weapon she welded so effectively. Minako already knew Usagi was going to be upset with her words. She hadn't realized she was angry when she'd started talking, but the more she spoke, the more angry she became. Maybe because things had changed so much from they had expected? Or maybe she still felt the sting of Rei's words the night before. If she hadn't left, if she'd stayed here in Tokyo, if she'd been a more forceful leader at a time when she hadn't thought they needed all that much leading, would Usagi have kept them better in the loop?

Her eyes tracked to Rei as her sister spoke, and she wished she had the eloquence of word that Rei displayed with such ease. Her eyes widened slightly when Rei suggested resigning - she'd never thought that before, had never considered even when they were not actively in duty, that resigning could ever be an option. Minako didn't believe that Rei would ever truly leave Usagi's side, and no matter how much they berated Usagi for discluding them from security, Minako knew Lucan's weapons wouldn't stand a chance again the enemies who drew their power directly from Chaos. Still, Rei made a great point.

And at least Usagi responded to Rei with something more than venom. Usagi might have kept her voice straight when speaking to Minako, but the blond wasn't completely obviously to the true meaning behind the words. She met Usagi's eyes, but kept her expression blank as Usagi continued through her speech.

"You already know I have never had any issues with security, Usagi." Minako replied, before choosing to adopt Ami's tactical silence as far as the rest of the conversation was concerned.

[Mizuno Ami]

Ami nodded slightly, letting go of her power that she had been scarcely are that she had been holding. She knew what Usagi was asking, even if Usa didn't. Regardless, she also understood that having a cabinet level position would at least allow them to be close to Usagi and involved in briefings.

"I'm not entirely sure that addresses the issue, Usagi." She could see that this was hurting the Queen, but she could also see how much it was hurting her other sisters. It was not the perfect solution, but at least it moved them in the right direction. Unless of course instead of the government and world coming to understand that they were useful and important they saw it as some kind of nepotism.

"However, I'd be honored. Under one condition. I still get to spend a few hours practicing each week." She was pretty sure that it was understood that she would be the primary physician for all the senshi, so she had no need to make that a condition.

"Usagi... I don't think anyone objects to others helping to keep you safe. We all like Lucan. It's..." She sighed, "It's more than our job to protect you, Usagi. It's our purpose. It's why your mother sent us forward. But... it's more than duty or destiny or purpose or any of those noble sounding grandiose terms."

"All we're asking is that we still get to be your protectors..."