12/30 PM Checking in (Luna, Usagi, Lucan)

[Luna]

Luna relaxed somewhat, comforted to know that Usagi hadn’t meant that she had been actually afraid of Mamoru. At least some of the beliefs she had held of Mamoru were accurate, that made things a little better she supposed. She kept her position next to Usagi, still wanting to offer what comfort she could as she murmured, “I understand Usagi, I really do and please don’t feel as if you are letting everyone down. The only thing we want is your happiness, you wouldn’t have been happy if you had married someone that you didn’t fully know. A marriage like that would have been doomed to failure, perhaps it was better that these things have happened now instead of later when we wouldn’t have been able to take steps to fix it. Our future has never been written in stone Usagi, things change ...”

Luna glanced over at Lucan and stated simply, “I don’t believe that the three Shitennou pose any sort of threat as long as they don’t retain their memories. I was there when she met with Khalid and for the most part he was very much a gentleman, though I’ve never met any of the others to know how they are. However, we don’t really know what might trigger their memories and so I agree that Usagi should have at the very least either a senshi or you with her whenever she meets with Khalid again.”

She glared at Usagi briefly before returning her attention to Lucan to add, “I told her at the time that she was far too hasty in trusting Khalid with that contract. That she really should have gotten to know him better before making any decisions like that. However, I have also revised my judgement and agreed that we would at least be able to keep an eye on him better this way.”

Luna wasn’t certain at all that the senshi needed escorts and protection. She was under the opinion that they would be able to handle any kind of danger that they might get into. They always had and so she figured that they always would, the senshi were warriors after all. She trusted in their abilities to at least call for help and then handle whatever was going on until that help arrived. Still, Iyashii was in the palace and so maybe Lucan was correct that they needed to be a little more careful. “I’m fairly certain the senshi can take care of themselves, they always have but if you speak with them then perhaps something that you could all be comfortable with could be worked out ... at least in making certain Usagi is safe.”

She fell silent while Lucan was trying to explain his own opinion on Mamoru and the Shitennou, though she didn’t at all like what she was hearing. Some of it she might could be persuaded to believe such as the reasons why Mamoru might have decided it was ok to keep his secrets, or even that he was probably just as confused and hurt by the ordeal as Usagi had been. The one thing that bothered her the most was the idea that Usagi should continue to associate herself with Mamoru while she was hurting. That she should be forced to use whatever leverage she might have with Mamoru because of their relationship to get information out of him. This bothered her a great deal simply because she didn’t want to see Usagi hurt.

Luna was certain that the more time Usagi spent in Mamoru’s company, the more she would feel hurt. Therefore it was obvious to her that Usagi shouldn’t have to go anywhere near Mamoru if she didn’t want to. She glared angerily at Lucan, her ears pinned backwards as she growled, “Usagi should stay away from Mamoru ... he’s hurt her quite enough as it is! It isn’t right to ask her to continue spending time with him just to get whatever information he could give us.”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"I'm glad it came out now, too," Usagi replied to Luna, still petting her. It felt comforting to feel Luna's soft fur under her fingertips. "If we had married, I don't know what I would have done... A broken engagement is better than a separation, or even a divorce... That would've been a disaster." Politically as well as personally. She was sure there would be enough public fallout from the broken engagement. But she couldn't imagine how hurt she would feel if she had found this out after the wedding. How trapped she would have felt...

Suppressing a shudder, she listened to Luna's response about the Shitennou. "He really was very nice, and I actually liked him, personally. Besides, he was much more upfront than the other companies were," Usagi sniffed. She made many of her business decisions based on relationships. "I'm sure you'll be locking down security. Guess I'll be seeing even more of you, and I'll make sure Hikari has my agenda marked up to let you know so you can plan ahead. I don't mind, really." She had gotten used to it by now, and if it made everyone feel better, there was no reason to object. "It wouldn't hurt to have someone else evaluating him, so to speak, either you or a senshi, like Luna said. I'm sure the more heads are put together on this, the better." She cheered up a bit at the thought of a wide range of allies, working together for a common solution. Teamwork was an inspiring thing.

"I know the senshi can take care of themselves the best, when it comes to things like the Shitennou. I mean, we did defeat them once." She wasn't sure what use security could be if the Shitennou decided to bring out their powers. "But we should all be careful, anything can happen if we're caught unawares. It's the other stuff I get concerned about, knowing what's outside the Palace. The media is going to fixate on them more and more as time goes on." Maybe Lucan was rubbing off on her. She had avoided pushing the issue of security when waiting for them to decide on what course they wanted to take; since everyone had committed to working with her at all levels, and staying together as a team, perhaps they would have to revisit the issue in the future-- maybe. Usagi was fairly sure how that conversation would go, and it wasn't going to be her way.

Like Luna, she lapsed into silence as Lucan gave his opinion. Usagi was truly stunned. She expected Lucan to disagree with Mamoru, maybe have a novel take on a few things... But this was a completely different take.

It brought her back to her conversation with Minako. It was similar to what she said then, that she had been so trusting, so forgiving of Mamoru in the past, hoping he'd move past those issues. "You're right on one thing," she said quietly, her voice wavering. "There were never any consequences for keeping things to himself... I just thought he'd understand how hurtful it was and never do it again. But, it makes sense..."

For the first time, she wondered if she had been too rash in breaking things off right then. They had both been emotional, and the revelation had been so fresh. Given time, could they have resolved things? Maybe understood each other?

She didn't see how, Mamoru was so... He was so many things that night, but he was not the Mamo-chan she had known. No, she had done the right thing by breaking things off, at least then. He even gave her that throwaway, pathetic line about destiny.

"I didn't even think about my parents," Usagi said sadly, hanging her head for a moment. "If anything I know how damaging secrets can be from that; they've never gotten over the fact I kept this from them." She felt her eyes well up with tears, remembering their shocked faces. "I should go see them, sometime after New Year's. Maybe I can get one of the girls to come with me, I don't want to go alone. I don't want to lose them, they're my family, like Mamoru was my family. I want to make things right... I have to try." She wiped at her eyes, realizing that, in a way, she had been a hypocrite. She had kept a vital part of herself, of who she was, secret from her family for nearly ten years, and had considered it the right thing to do. And that was how Mamoru felt... Maybe she judged him too harshly, blind to her own sins.

Usagi reached out, running a hand over Luna's head and down her body, trying to calm her down. "Luna, relax. He didn't ask me to, he just said it might be necessary. And as much as I hate it, he's probably right." Usagi offered the cat a small smile, trying to show that she was alright. "I sent Ami to him saying that I wanted a professional relationship. We knew then that we'd have to collaborate with him on this issue to some degree, and he told Ami-chan that he'd be willing. Is what Lucan says so different? The engagement is off, but we can't ignore the fact that we had a relationship for a whole decade. That'd be stupid. I don't want to feel like I'm using Mamoru just for information... Truth be told I hadn't through far enough ahead to what kind of relationship we would have figured out the Shitennou," she admitted. "I hoped... we could be friends. Is that really naive? That's really naive. But, professional, friendly, whatever kind of relationship... He's right, it won't happen if I only send the senshi as emissaries or something. I'll have to suck it up and talk to him myself, sooner or later. Maybe sooner is better," she concluded reluctantly.

[Luna]

Luna purred softly as Usagi continued to pet her, glad to be able to offer whatever comfort she could give. She nodded in silent agreement to the thought that a separation or divorce would have been much worse. She honestly didn’t want to think about how Usagi would have dealt with something like that, it was hard enough to be dealing with things now.

Turning back to Lucan she murmured, “I wouldn’t want Usagi to change, being a trusting person is just who she is. You are right, she has all of us to worry and fret over whether someone actually deserves her trust.” Once again she glanced up at Usagi and added teasingly, “Though I certainly wouldn’t mind if she slowed down a little and thought about things before leaping into them so completely.”

Luna’s heart broke just a little more as she watched Usagi after the mention of her parents. In all of the things that Usagi had been forced to go through because she had given her that brooch, this was the thing that Luna regretted most. Usagi’s family had meant the world to her and Luna knew how much it hurt her to watch them pull away because of a secret she had been forced to keep for their own safety. “I’m positive that any one of the girls would go with you Usagi ...” There really wasn’t any words that Luna could say that would make that hurt better, nor could she promise that going to see them would make things right and so she simply left it at that.

She calmed down somewhat at both Usagi’s and Lucan’s words. She supposed that Lucan had a point, nothing of what Usagi had gone through as Sailor Moon was right and they did need whatever information they could get from Mamoru. It just didn’t sit right with her to ask Usagi to continue seeing him if it was going to hurt her further. She didn’t like it, but she did believe that Lucan cared enough to not want Usagi hurt either. Sighing softly she glanced over at Lucan and said, “I know that you do, you are right ... sometimes things just have to be regardless of how fair they are.”

Turning back to look up at Usagi, Luna added, “I can not and will not promise that Mamoru would want to be friends after this. I don’t know about it really being naive or not, but as far as I can see it is very rare for a couple to remain friends when the relationship has sustained the kinds of emotional turmoil that this one has. However, Mamoru has agreed to a professional type of working relationship so I suppose you will have to take it from there and see where it goes.”

[Neo Queen Serenity]

"Aw, you actually like me," Usagi teased, resting one hand over her heart, acting touched. "You finally admitted it."

Usagi did genuinely feel complimented when both Lucan and Luna said that they didn't want her trusting nature to change. She laughed at Luna's playful scolding. "Well it's not my fault you two are so paranoid. At least you're paranoid on purpose, Lucan, I'm not sure about you Luna..." she needled, ruffling her fur before petting the cat to smooth it back down again.

"Now don't you be sorry," Usagi muttered, wiping at her tears. She nodded down at Luna, wondering who to ask to go. She didn't want to overwhelm her parents with senshi, but still didn't feel courageous to go alone. Deciding to put that aside until after the New Year had passed, she let it go, still feeling rather weepy.

"I wouldn't know," Usagi replied to Luna. "Mamo-chan is really the only relationship that I've had... Maybe that was a mistake. It's all I have to base these things on." She wondered how many girls Mamoru had been out with before her, but quickly stopped, knowing that would be a dangerous path for her to go down. She didn't want to think about Mamoru with anyone else. "I'll arrange to see him, then, I think... sometime later. I don't understand why we couldn't be friends, though... Why can't people get along? Why can't we understand each other? I don't want to be enemies with him, and lately that's what it's seemed like. It shouldn't have to be us against them. I don't want to repeat the past... But things don't really work like that," she mumbled sadly. Usagi hated the idea that everything she had shared, and gone through with Mamoru in the past ten years would be for nothing, now that their engagement was broken. It didn't seem right.

She sighed again, reaching over and picking up the stack of papers. "I better finish this or I'll never get to bed." It seemed so pointless after the turmoil of their conversation. Despite her mental weariness, she felt relieved to have told these things. It helped to know there was even one more person that had her back on this.