Meeting with the Mercurian 12/28 (Mamoru, Ami) [FI

[Zacharie Babineaux]

Zoisite's mouth moved wordlessly, unable to figure out what to say. Was there anything that he <i>could</i> say? He didn't think that there was. Eventually Zoisite had to close his lips, pursing them tightly together. He could not hold her, or wipe away her tears, or even fall on his knees at her feet. Oh, the gesture would be there... but neither of them would feel it for he was not real. Nor was Endymion helping in this.

"Ami... you deserve to be happy," he heard himself whisper, the words unplanned but swimming in a truth that even he could not deny. At once he hated himself for those words, and confused himself by hoping that she would take them to heart. He was a ghost, an intangible ghost; he didn't deserve this amount of thought from her, and certainly no loyalty.

[Mizuno Ami]

Ami blinked, trying to figure out what he meant. I'm not usually this slow... What is wrong with me?

She bit her lip. Not sure what to say to him. She had finally decided, though perhaps it was wishful thinking, that his words were not a rejection but resignation. Admittedly, she thought that did not fit him, but considering he was essentially a ghost, she could not really fault him for it.

Finally, she took a breath and spoke. "I'm not sure I can be..." The words were soft, she could not seem to find her voice much at all. They were also true, even before the revelations of that day. Well, not entirely. She shook her head, "I mean, I am. I'm happy." And she could be happy being single easily, if she didn't remember. Unfortunately, she did.

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru hated to see the pain and confusion that his friend was going through, especially since he had caused it by allowing Ami to speak with him in the first place. He almost wished that he had refused Ami’s request, but in the end this was probably the right thing to do. If it could eventually help bring peace to both Zoisite and Ami’s souls, then even the confusion and pain of this moment in time would probably be worth it. Even if Ami could never forgive Zoisite for his past, at least she was speaking to him as something more then just the enemy and in time that might help to heal them both. Still it would probably take more then just this one visit to do that, people didn’t heal in just one night. This was of course all supposing that they both wanted to continue speaking to one another, they might prefer not to ever do it again.

He shifted in his chair, uncomfortable with the tension in the air although uncertain how to actually go about defusing it. They would never be able to go forward if they couldn’t say more then a few words to one another, but that too would probably take time. There was a difficult and tragic past separating them both, a canyon currently without a bridge. That bridge could only be built upon words, but this wasn’t his area of expertise. He certainly wasn’t a counselor, he had trouble figuring out his own emotions and troubles much less someone else’s.

(guys, I just don’t have anything to add without feeling like he’s interrupting for the sake of interrupting ... so unless there is something you’d like for him to say and I certainly don’t mind people giving me ideas ^^ just finish your conversation and then I’ll have Mamoru reply again)

[Zacharie Babineaux]

She was going to make him say it, wasn't she? It was on the tip of his tongue, the brash, point-blank way of telling her what he needed to say. But he didn't want to. Despite having been "dead" for years now, he couldn't really bring himself to accept that he was truly gone. After all, he still thought like any living person, he still had his feelings... he still had love. What he lacked was the ability to touch or breath. Sadly, those attributes were fairly important. Oh, and the ability to manifest himself without his Lord's approval.

For one brief moment he felt a flash of anger towards Endymion for keeping them as he did. Hadn't they paid enough? Couldn't he just let them rest in peace?

The anger faded as quickly as it had come and he sagged a little in the emptiness it left behind. "... you mean what you mean," he said eventually and caught her gaze with his. The blond gave her a faint, sad smile and affected a sigh, "if I could come back to you, I would..."

It might even be possible, he thought with consideration towards Jadeite's current state. "but... it isn't... definite. We don't even know how this came about."

And even if we did, why should you even trust me? "If I can't... if someone... else..."

[Mizuno Ami]

She smiled slightly and nodded as he caught her gaze. "I know." She was not entirely sure what it was that she was saying she knew. She just did not want him to finish what he was saying. Ami understood why it was that he was saying it, or at least she thought she did, but she really did not want him to say it.

"Logically," she was retreating and she knew it. She knew he'd probably know it as well, but she was not sure what else she could say at the moment, "if one of you did, then the rest of you should as well."

She wondered if he knew the circumstances surrounding that, but she shook it off. It was not logical to assume that whatever had caused one of them to be made whole would be what was required for the other three. She did not manage to keep the blush from staining her cheek though.

"But maybe some time isn't a bad thing..." She did not realize she'd said that out loud.

[Zacharie Babineaux]

"Maybe it is," He nodded with her and tried to ignore the strange sensation of a heart he didn't have being pulled apart. It wasn't that she didn't love him--Zoisite felt that she did--but loving someone didn't necessarily mean that you could be together.

Or even be right for each other. He tried his best to smile, "We'll see what happens."

[Mizuno Ami]

"Yeah..."

She looked at him for a minute, seeing his attempt to smile. He never had to struggle to smile before. She bit her lip, "I'm sorry. I... I shouldn't have asked for this." She had not even asked him the one thing she needed to, not having been able to bring herself to do it. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I'm sorry."

Ami turned from him briefly to Mamoru and she nodded to him, "I'll pass what you said onto Usagi and will look into the information. She wanted me to assure you that you are still welcome to New Year's."

She looked back to Zoisite, opened her mouth to say something more, but then closed her mouth. She could not cause him any more pain than she already had. She smiled to him, a warm smile, and then turned to see herself out of the former future king's quarters.

[Zacharie Babineaux]

"Amelie..." Zoisite whispered as she left, then turned his face from both the door and his king. He couldn't bring himself to even try and stop her--what right did he have? Ami was alive... and she needed room to be so.

"Is there anything else, my lord?" He asked hallowly.

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru nodded briefly in Ami’s direction when she mentioned that she would pass on his message to Usagi, most of his attention on Zoisite at the moment. Still, he did manage to hear her say that he was still welcome to come to New Year’s and couldn’t help the brief surge of bitterness to overtake him. Why would he want to go the ball when he was currently trying to get as far from Usagi as he could? Did she think he would want to go simply to see what he was missing? He didn’t need the reminder, he knew very well what he had lost.

It was Zoisite’s hallow voice that allowed him to shove his bitterness aside and concentrate on his friend once more. In the end, his pain didn’t amount to much when he thought about the misery of the man before him.

“Zoisite ...” Mamoru didn’t finish what he had been about to say. What could he say anyway to make the younger man feel any better? He couldn’t promise him that Ami would be able to deal with her memories enough to allow them to be together. He couldn’t even promise that he would be reawakened as Jadeite had. He could tell him about meeting Zacharie earlier that afternoon, but how would that help?

Finally he rose from his chair and moved so that he could catch Zoisite’s gaze and worriedly asked, “Zoisite, was I wrong to allow Ami a chance to speak with you? I thought it wouldn’t hurt, but perhaps I’ve made things worse for you.”

[Zacharie Babineaux]

When his king addressed him, Zoisite seemed to recover a little. He offered him the best smile he could manage and shook his head. "Do not regret this... it was good to see her again." There was no reason to burden Endymion with his own woes. Zoisite looked towards his crystal with some distaste. It was odd to have such conflicting feelings over a stone--it was peaceful solitude and yet an unshakable prison.

"Endymion," he heard himself say, slowly and thoughtfully. Realizing where he was going with this, Zoisite lifted his head and looked again to his king. "You're still alive and so is she. Don't take that gift for granted. We're given all the time in the world but... if you don't appreciate what you have when you have it..."

Zoisite shook his head. "Forgive me. It made sense a moment ago." That was the way of things these days; he really had too much time to think.

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru nodded, though he still watched Zoisite worriedly. He could see that the younger man wasn’t happy, but he would respect his wishes and let it go for now. It pained him to see Zoisite glance towards his crystal with some distaste and he really wanted to assure him that he would be free from it sometime. He couldn’t do that though, he wouldn’t stand there and promise him things that he couldn’t guarantee.

At Zoisite’s next words, Mamoru couldn’t help groaning miserably. Didn’t he already do that? He’d already taken Usagi, his future, everything that made life worth living for granted and lost it because of foolish pride.

He still didn’t fault himself for keeping the secrets that he had kept. He didn’t think it would have been a very good idea to mention the Shitennou’s existence to Usagi and her senshi in those early years, he didn’t believe they would have understood at the time no matter what Usagi was saying now. He wouldn’t have minded mentioning it to Usagi later, but he was honest when he said the subject just never came up ... he had simply never thought to mention it. However, he did fault himself for the way he had handled that meeting the night before. He could have talked with Usagi instead of saying and doing things deliberately to strike out. He had walked into that meeting angry and because of stupid pride he had ended up hurting someone he really cared about. That was the mistake that he grieved over now, the one he wasn’t certain how to fix.

Mamoru sighed softly and said, “There isn’t any reason to forgive you Zoisite. Your words make perfect sense to me. Unfortunately, they’ve come a little late ... I’ve already taken for granted something very special and lost it. ”

[Zacharie Babineaux]

The blonde prince smiled faintly, some small glimmer of mischief writing itself upon his countenance. "why is it too late? As I said, you're both still alive." He began to fade then, unable to keep up his will to manifest himself. he would stay if Endymion called him back, but so far as Zoisite was concerned he was done for the evening.

[Chiba Mamoru]

Mamoru sighed, but he kept his mouth shut. Again, what could he say that could refute what Zoisite had said? He was alive and therefore mistakes could be fixed, or at least attempted to be fixed.

He allowed Zoisite to fade away, his thoughts turned inward rather then on the other man at the moment. Eventually he sighed in frustration once again before returning to the task of continuing to pack up his belongings. Even if he did attempt to fix everything, he still had no intention of remaining here at the palace while he did so.