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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 14, 2009 0:13:34 GMT -5
The desk had long been abandoned in lieu of the couch, which Usagi reclined on, propping her head on her hand and turning the page on the proposal set to go to committee tomorrow. She glanced at the clock, noticing it was about 2200 hours and got back to work, thumbing through the thick stack to try and determine how much more was left.
This needed to get done before she turned in, but she found herself reading and rereading the same sentence over and over again.
Groaning, she sat up, hoping a change in position would focus her attention a bit more. Everything seemed so quiet, now. Almost everyone had left the office, save for a few senior aides. Her door was open a crack, and though the sound of a copier running or someone filling up their cup at the water cooler came through, it was practically dead around here. In fact, it was a little creepy to be all alone this late at night, though Usagi knew in reality that her detail was outside, and people could be easily found.
Silly as it was, she almost wished she had someone to sit with her. Shoving the papers aside, she got up and looked over the city, wondering where Mamoru was, if she could see the building he was living in from her view... How many hours had spent looking over the gorgeous city lights from the balcony of his old apartment? Did his new place have a balcony, too?
Usagi groaned again, resting her head against the glass. This is why I shouldn't have stopped working. I'll think about him.
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 14, 2009 0:43:21 GMT -5
Luna sighed fretfully to herself once more as she gazed out at the moon from the window she was curled up beside. There was so many things that had been happening lately that she couldn’t help worrying over. The broken engagement, the Shitennou’s return, Artemis’s return to the palace ... well actually that last wasn’t something that she was worried about. Artemis’s return was something that she was actually thrilled about. She had missed him so very much while he had been away, but really she didn’t have the time to be thinking about him. There were other things that were far more important at the moment, like Usagi’s well being.
She was very worried over how Usagi was handling the break up with Mamoru, which was why she was currently sitting in her chambers waiting for the queen to return. Luna wanted to talk with her, to make certain that Usagi was ok. From a distance Usagi seemed to be handling things well, but Luna knew her charge far too well. Usagi had loved Mamoru and it would have affected her deeply to have to break off the engagement.
Luna glanced at the clock once more before deciding that Usagi wasn’t going to be coming back to her rooms any time soon. She was more then likely working, which was a good thing of course. Luna was always proud of the way Usagi ran her kingdom and made certain that everything was going the way it should, but there were times when Usagi needed to take time out for herself as well. Well, if Usagi wasn’t going to come here then Luna would just have to go to her.
She quickly leaped off of the window and made her way to Usagi’s office. It didn’t take her long to get there, especially since at this late hour there weren’t that many people to have to avoid. She was glad to find the door to the office opened a crack, this way she wouldn’t have to wait for it to be opened.
Luna slipped through the open door and called softly, “Usagi-chan ...”
Her heart went out to Usagi as she noticed her standing next to the window with her head pressed against the glass. Obviously she had been correct in assuming that this was bothering Usagi more then she had been letting on.
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 14, 2009 1:12:52 GMT -5
Usagi's thoughts were broken by the sound of Luna's voice calling her. She turned her head, blinking at her feline friend and companion.
"Luna," she said softly, gazing at her for a moment before seeming to pull herself together. "I'm just taking a break for a moment. It's too beautiful out tonight not to appreciate it, at least for a minute or two. I'll be along to bed shortly," she added, glancing at her quizzically.
"Is anything... wrong?" Usagi asked, making her way back to the couch and taking a seat, making sure to push the papers out of the way first.
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 14, 2009 1:27:42 GMT -5
Luna made her way over to the couch and leaped up, perching delicately on the arm as she gazed sadly at Usagi. She shook her head and murmured, “There isn’t really anything wrong Usagi, just ... I’m just worried about you. There has been so much going on lately and you haven’t had any time to deal with it, not properly anyway.”
She hesitated a moment before adding, “Usagi, no one expects you to just be the queen ... at least those that care about you the most. You have to take time out for yourself, you can’t just bottle up everything you are feeling and go on as if everything is normal.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 14, 2009 1:38:41 GMT -5
Her gaze softening, Usagi reached over to scratch Luna by the ears, smiling gently. "You're too good to me, Luna. You don't have to worry about me. As long as I have you and the girls, I have all the support I need. Besides," she added, "if you really know the 'proper' way to deal with things, let me know. Other than lazing around bawling and eating bon-bons and watching sappy old romantic movies. I don't have the time for that, and anyway... It didn't work too well the last time Mamoru and I broke up." Her expression darkened, remembering those turbulent times. She had done everything to impress him, chased him constantly, cried at everything and stuffed herself full of food. In the end, none of it had helped. "Though to be honest I wouldn't mind eating more bon-bons..." Usagi tried to joke, even though she was rather serious. Eating sweets was never a bad idea. This is an excuse to eat lots and lots of chocolate... I should have thought of that earlier...
"I'm not trying to bottle everything up, Luna. And you and the others wouldn't let me! I had a good chat with Rei-chan and Minako-chan yesterday... That helped. Half of the time I don't know what I'm feeling," she confessed. "I was really surprised, many times I feel okay with things-- I can even laugh and be happy. And then other times it hurts. But, one thing has remained constant. I still think I did the right thing. And that's... given me strength to push forward."
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 14, 2009 14:28:30 GMT -5
Luna purred softly as Usagi scratched her ears, before saying, “You will always have us Usagi, no matter the problem.” She paused a moment before adding, “I doubt there is a proper way to deal with things really, it’s just whatever makes you feel better.”
She wasn’t really certain what to say about the reminder of the time Mamoru had broken up with Usagi so she just murmured, “I’m sure Mako-chan would be more then happy to make you as much chocolate as you can eat Usagi. You should ask her ...”
Luna sighed softly as Usagi spoke up once again. She was glad that Usagi was at least talking to the girls. They would make certain that Usagi wouldn’t withdraw and bottle her feelings up, they would make certain that she grieved in her own ways while at the same time presenting herself as the queen the world needed. As for Mamoru, she really couldn’t say if what had been done was the right thing. She hadn’t expected that Mamoru could have ever kept something so important away from them. She had known that he didn’t really share things that well with the other senshi, but she would have expected him to at least share something that important with Usagi. At any rate, she was proud of Usagi for having done what she believed was right. If she didn’t feel as if she could trust Mamoru then there shouldn’t be a wedding, it was as simple as that.
She was about to speak up again when Lucan walked into the room. Luna glanced over at him and nodded politely, though she would have preferred more time to be able to talk with Usagi. She was actually somewhat amused at how quickly Lucan had reverted to calling Usagi ‘Your Majesty’. Although Luna would call Usagi by a more formal title in front of a visiting diplomat or any other important person, she didn’t really think that Lucan should bother with such titles in front of her. There probably wasn’t any point in mentioning that to Lucan though, he would more then likely do whatever he felt most proper. “Good Evening Lucan ...”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 14, 2009 14:54:11 GMT -5
"I know. It's nice to know that I can always trust you and the senshi," Usagi replied, not without a slight note of bitterness. Men really were overrated. She wondered if she'd be able to trust anyone again, the way she had Mamoru... Of course, it hurt just thinking about moving on to someone else, but people would expect that she would... At the mention of chocolate, Usagi seized the opportunity to divert her thoughts to happier, more sugary things.
"Oh, Luna... That's a great idea. Ask Mako-chan to make me something! You know, us girls should get together for a movie and sweets... After all this New Year's business is over with, of course. I couldn't ask her for anything now." The idea of Mako-made sweets could always lighten Usagi's mood except in the most dire of situations.
She looked up in surprise as Lucan stepped in, interrupting the conversation. "Hey," she grinned, laughing a little as he reverted back to her formal title. "Geez, I think you can call me Usagi in front of Luna, she won't mind... right Luna? And the senshi won't think you any less professional if you do the same in front of them. I think after a year you'd be better trained," she poked at him playfully.
"Come in! Luna and I were just talking," Usagi invited breezily. It didn't occur to her that Luna might want the conversation to remain private. Usagi had no qualms discussing her feelings with Luna in front of Lucan, and anything Lucan had to say could be said in front of Luna.
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 14, 2009 16:01:02 GMT -5
Luna shook her head and murmured, “I don’t mind if you call Usagi by her given name, she prefers it after all. This isn’t any kind of formal meeting, therefore there really isn’t any need for formalities.”
Although she would have preferred not having been interrupted, she was now curious as to why Lucan had come. The previous conversation could wait, perhaps it had been finished anyway. Other then reassuring Usagi that she had done the right thing and that she was proud of her for upholding what she felt was best regardless of the sacrifices, there wasn’t anything else she could say that hadn’t already been said.
“You aren’t interrupting Lucan and Usagi is correct, nothing that was being said was anything that you weren’t already aware of.”
She deliberately relaxed, curling her tail around her front paws in an effort to show that she did mean what she had said. She briefly considered leaving to allow Lucan the chance to talk with Usagi. It was obvious to her that he didn’t seem entirely comfortable with discussing whatever he wanted while she was still in the room. Luna disregarded this idea rather quickly however since she was curious to know what the man wanted.
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 14, 2009 16:19:11 GMT -5
"See?" Usagi said triumphantly. "Luna agrees. You have to call me Usagi now in front of her." She rolled her eyes at his stubbornness with the senshi. "I'm sure they won't mind either, Lucan... I've told you a hundred times, anybody who is protecting me ought to have the right to call me by my name... And if you can call me by my name and the senshi can call me by my name-- then you ought to be able to do it in front of them. Makes sense, right? Right."
She nodded at his mention of taking over the shift. "I forgot you were doing it tonight; I'm glad you are though. I'm glad both of you are here, actually, it's weird being in the office this late at night. I hated it when I was an intern in the Diet, too... I remember the parking garage at night." She shuddered. Nothing had ever happened, but she had heard about things happening.
Usagi giggled at bit Luna's remarks, thinking all of this roundabout was unnecessary. "No, you're fine... Luna was just asking me how I was doing, and all, and she had this great suggestion that I ask Mako-chan to make me all the chocolate I can eat, isn't that smart? I could really use some chocolate now, and Mako-chan is the best cook or chocolatier or whatever you call the person that makes chocolates... Though she can cook all kinds of other yummy things too, but I think you know that... I wonder if she'll make me crêpes? Chocolate crêpes! With fudge..."
She stopped her wondering mind for a moment, focusing back in on things. "But, uh... what did you want to talk about, again?" she asked him curiously, not at all embarrassed about her ramblings on food. They were both used to it, she was sure.
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 14, 2009 17:14:04 GMT -5
Luna glanced in Usagi’s direction, nodding in agreement with what she was saying. It did make sense to her after all, if you were going to lay your life on the line for someone then you might as well be able to call them by their given name. A name offered more companionship then a mere title would and a companion would be more likely to care about someone then a simply employee would. She returned her attention to Lucan and simply said, “Luna will do just fine and I’m certain that you will discover in time that the senshi would prefer less formalities as well.”
She turned an uneasy glance back toward Usagi when she began speaking about how uncomfortable it was being in the office alone at night. Luna suppressed a shudder at the thought of what could have happened to Usagi during one of her walks in the parking garage. From now on she would make certain that Usagi had someone to stay with her while she did her work, pleased to hear Lucan mention the same thing.
Luna couldn’t help grinning broadly at Lucan’s unenthusiastic response to Usagi’s rambling on about food, chocolate in particular. She hadn’t yet seen Usagi going into diabetic shock with all the sweets she ate, wasn’t really certain it could ever happen in the first place. As far as she was concerned Usagi was comparable to a black hole when it came to putting food into her mouth, but the idea of having the medics prepared with plenty of insulin was amusing. Then the conversation turned serious with Lucan’s mention of Mamoru.
Luna sat up a little stiffer in response to the now tense atmosphere. She couldn’t begin to comprehend why Lucan might think something criminal had gone on and so she remained silent. She hadn’t been present in the conversation between either Usagi and Rei, or Usagi and Mamoru, therefore she wasn’t aware of the traitor comments. The fact that Mamoru had neglected to mention the Shitennou counted as more of a trust issue then a criminal one and so she didn’t put the two ideas together.
Instead of responding she chose instead to wait silently to see how Usagi would respond. After all, perhaps there was something else she wasn't aware of.
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 14, 2009 21:19:41 GMT -5
Usagi's eyes brightened at the mention of someone sitting with her. "Well, I didn't want to bore anyone, and they all have their work and families and things to get home to at this time of night," she explained. "But, if you're offering..." She beamed at both Lucan and Luna, happy to have that issue resolved in the future.
As preoccupied with food as Usagi was, Lucan's response and mutter did not escape her, nor did Luna's broad grin. "Hey! I heard that!" She picked up one of the decorative pillows and chucked it at Lucan, pretending to glower at him. "I'm not going to eat that much! And Luna, stop smiling, you're making it worse... I know you're enjoying this at my expense! If you don't shape up I'll throw a pillow at you too..." Not that her aim was any good, which meant it wasn't an effective threat, but she still clutched the second pillow to her, making her best war face at the feline and trying not to giggle.
Usagi good mood faded at the mention of Mamoru, her mind instantly going to his face that last night. Had it really been three days since she saw him? It seemed like forever. "Don't be shy about bringing him up," she told Lucan and Luna, noticing the feline's now-stiff posture. "I don't want people walking on egg-shells around me, not with this, or anything else. Feel free to say whatever. It's better to be honest than to be uncertain, at least I think so..." She listened to the rest of his words, mulling them over for a moment before responding.
"Well, I hope he decided to talk on protection," she said. "I know what it took for me to understand, and it was sheer luck I walked away from it. I hope it doesn't take the same type of thing for him, he may not be as lucky..." Usagi hated the thought of Mamoru out there on his own, despite everything she still wanted him to be safe. And the only way she could protect him now was to offer up Secret Service security. But she couldn't force him to take it...
Her brow furrowed in confusion, Usagi tilted her head to look at Lucan, bewildered. "Criminal? Why, what did he say? No, nothing like that..." She chewed on her lip for a moment, before making the connection. "Oh, I think I know. It was a betrayal, definitely, but a personal one, not a political one. His behavior was treacherous, to my trust, to that of the senshi, but not to the government of New Earth. However..." Usagi glanced at Luna, wondering what her opinion on this would be. "Y'know, after Mamoru kept secrets with me I'm thinking it's best to be above board with this. So I don't know if you need to know about this, but if you want to, I don't think I want to keep it from you... I mean, if something happens with the Shitennou... I don't know. What do you think, Luna? Is there any reason to hold back? I can think of a couple of reasons not to." She wouldn't tell everything, of course, certainly not the things that were personal to the senshi. But other questions were bound to come up in the future, so why not?
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 14, 2009 23:47:36 GMT -5
Luna shifted a little as she listened to Usagi attempt to explain the situation to Lucan. While she couldn’t be completely certain since she hadn’t been there, she assumed that the subject of treason must have come up during Usagi’s argument with Mamoru which had led him to mention it to Lucan later.
She wasn’t entirely comfortable with this line of discussion. However, Lucan took care of the palace security, more importantly Usagi’s security. He would probably need to be involved in some things, especially things as delicate as the Shitennou’s return could be. She was still uncertain about discussing senshi business with someone other then the senshi.
Luna noted Lucan’s glance her way and flicked her tail uneasily before making her decision. If they could trust him to protect Usagi, then they could trust him with some details concerning at least this matter. Finally she said, “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to tell you more, after all you probably will be involved. A long time ago the Shitennou were guardians of Endymion, but they betrayed us all and became our enemies not once, but twice.”
She paused hesitantly before adding slowly, “It has come to our attention that Mamoru has been secretly keeping the souls of his Shitennou inside of four jewels close to himself and has been calling upon them for advice occasionally. Now however, one of them has reawakened and the others have been possibly located though they don’t seem to remember anything.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 15, 2009 0:23:14 GMT -5
"No, our break-up won't be the end of things," Usagi said, looking particularly resigned as she said that. The potential headaches of what was coming made her sigh, and she glanced towards the window, waiting for Luna to make her decision.
"I trust you, Lucan. You've put yourself out for me lots of times, and you've always kept your word. We've kept each others' confidences well." Though she was the one most open to telling him, Usagi was still relieved that Luna started the explanation. She wouldn't have known where to begin, but with Luna putting down the bare bones, she could fill in the details.
"By 'a long time ago,' she means the Silver Millennium," Usagi added. "They turned then, they turned after we were reborn, in service to Beryl and Metallia. You remember them," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, she had outlined some of the enemies to Lucan in the past, though never to his satisfaction.
"'Come to our attention?'" Usagi repeated back to Luna, rolling her eyes. "Understatement of the year! BANG, Jadeite, who tried to kill me repeatedly, and the other girls, awakens-- the soul was in the stone, or whatever, I'm still not completely sure on that myself, but Jadeite's reincarnation or host body or however you would refer to it, had been walking around as a Palace employee, and then, somehow, the soul and body/reincarnation were reunited and reawakened. Rei confronted Mamoru and then brought it to my attention-- he had a whole day to confess at that point, but he didn't. And if it isn't obvious from Luna's explanation, because she was rather obtuse in her wording-- he's kept this secret for ten years!" Usagi erupted, managing to tap into the well of emotion that still surrounded this delicate issue. "So you can see where the betrayal factor comes in. Now, Mamoru is certain that his Shittennou are good now, and they may very well be, I don't really know-- not that I was ever given the chance to know-- but we can't be so sure. I mean, they turned on us twice-- fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, I don't know what the third time would count for, but we have to be careful on this. I'm not about to take the word of a man who hid something like this from me for a whole decade that they're all he wants them to be; they tried to off Mamoru, too you know. And-- well I don't know how to explain his behavior when I confronted him. He was totally out of reach; so angry, so distant, so domineering and self-righteous." She could feel her voice wavering with emotion, hoping that this was truly the last time she would have to explain things. "He scared me," Usagi admitted to them both in a trembling whisper. "He scared me."
Swallowing hard, she lifted her gaze. "We think we've figured out the other 'reincarnations' of the Shittenou that are out there right now, waiting to be reawakened. But... right now, what do you think?"
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Luna
Senshi/Shitennou
Advisor to Neo Queen Serenity
Posts: 185
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Post by Luna on Mar 15, 2009 1:54:39 GMT -5
Luna twitched her tail in irritation when Usagi said she was being obtuse in her explaination, but then perhaps she had been. She certainly had kept to the barest of facts, but then she had also expected that Usagi would either elaborate or that Lucan would simply ask for more clarification. She kept her thoughts to herself however, simply listening to Usagi explain things further and waiting to see what Lucan would say.
She couldn’t help a small growl at the thought that Mamoru had actually scared Usagi. Luna immediately moved closer to Usagi, pressing against her in a gesture of comfort. She thought about saying that she wouldn’t think that Mamoru would have ever done anything to hurt her, at least physically but then she hadn’t really ever expected him to keep such a vital secret from Usagi either. It seemed to her as if they didn’t know Mamoru as well as anyone had thought they had. She sighed softly and murmured, “Oh Usagi ...”
It was then that Lucan spoke up again. Luna glanced over at him thoughtfully before saying, “I suppose you could be right, or at the very least he wishes to trust them because he himself has experienced something of the same thing. He might feel that if he can trust himself after all this time then why shouldn't he be able to trust them ... they were supposedly his friends at one point in time."
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Mar 15, 2009 18:25:15 GMT -5
Usagi let out a deep sigh, petting Luna as she pushed up against her. "Luna... It wasn't as bad as it sounds. I didn't think he'd do anything to me, I was just frightened by how different he was, so angry and proud. I was scared by how he could do this to us and not even care how much destruction it caused in our lives-- how much more important it was to him to keep things convenient than it was to tell me, us... the truth. And I was terrified that I was about to marry a man I really didn't know. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, in a way, it's not the Crystal Tokyo we thought we were going to get, but... What kind of Queen would pass the crown off to someone she doesn't know or can't trust? What kind of... mother would I be if I married him after this? If I just forgave him, swept this under the rug, I'd never forgive myself, not after he hurt the senshi like this..."
Usagi realized she was getting off topic. "I'm sorry, I just keep realizing different things at different times." She exhaled, wondering what else to say. "He basically said he had a right to keep things like this secret from me, that I couldn't expect to know everything. I told him there were plenty of things he has to himself, like his work, that I don't ask about... I just want to know who he is, y'know?"
She managed to grin a bit at Lucan's reaction, though it was more in realization than humor. "I didn't think about it like that, but the description has merit," she admitted, remembering learning about Stockholm Syndrome in her psychology courses when she was getting her degree. "Well, I can tell you he hasn't been to a shrink, at least not to my knowledge," Usagi said dryly. When Luna put in her thoughts, Usagi began to nod thoughtfully. "It's probably a mixture of things; we just don't know. But I know if it had happened to me and the senshi, I would have told him. It would never have even occurred to me to keep that a secret," she frowned.
"Anyway, Lucan, I'm sure you're wondering who we think the others are... the one who was awakened, his 'normal' form, I suppose you could say, is Iyashii Hiroki... I think Rei said he was some kind of computer tech or whatever. The other one is Nathaniel Bernhardt; we think he's the Shitennou Nephrite. There's Khalid ibn Maleec-- we think he's the Shitennou Kunzite. And, I got an email from Ami-chan the other day... Mamoru thinks the fourth is Zacharie Babineaux. Some kind of actor, I guess," Usagi said, wishing she had the time to keep up with pop culture the same way she once did. She hadn't been to a movie theater in well over a year, and knew the experience would be easy to replicate in the Palace, but she just hadn't had the time. "We need more information... a lot more, to really figure things out. Ami-chan said that Mamoru was willing to cooperate, but I'm sure that's limited, he wasn't exactly forthcoming with me. We want to keep a close eye on these guys. Rei-chan said Jadeite didn't seem to be hostile-- but again... We just don't know. And it... well, it sucks."
Usagi slouched down, trying to relax-- trying not to think of Mamoru's face. "So?" she inquired, genuinely curious. "Stockholm Syndrome can't be all you've got. What do we do... if there's anything else we can do? And... Mamoru?" she found herself asking, feeling pathetic as she did so. It was such a risk for Usagi, to cut off her ten-year's long relationship to the man she had loved in two lifetimes. She craved all the support and approval she could get, hoping that if enough people told her she was right, Mamoru was wrong, it would somehow make her okay with everything that was happening.
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