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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Mar 10, 2009 15:56:27 GMT -5
Mamoru had just been placing the last of his belongings into a box and taping the lid shut when he heard the knock at the door. He glared irritably at the door and briefly toyed with the idea of ignoring it. He knew very well that he wasn’t in the best of moods and more then likely whoever it was on the other side of the door would only serve to aggravate him further.
He was just about to go back to what he had been doing when he realized that ignoring the door was probably just a little childish. He couldn’t ignore the world simply because he was in a bad mood. If it was someone he didn’t want to see, he could simply send them away.
Mamoru crossed over to the door and opened it. He was mildly surprised to find Lucan standing there and the angry words he had been about to unleash on his unsuspecting visitor promptly died. For a moment he simply stared at the man, trying to come up with a reason for his visit.
He really had no desire to talk with anyone, especially someone that dealt with Usagi so closely and would probably know some of why he was now about to be leaving the palace. However, he respected the man to much to simply turn him away. Finally he just stepped aside to allow Lucan’s entrance and asked blandly, “To what do I owe this visit Lucan?”
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Mar 10, 2009 23:54:54 GMT -5
Mamoru glared the moment Lucan brought up the servants. He simply wasn’t on very good terms with them anymore, which was part of the reason he was doing a lot of his own packing instead of getting them to help. Besides, after the last few days quite a few of the maids were probably terrified of him. He certainly hadn’t been particularly easy on them, in fact he’d taken a good deal of his frustration out on them. “I won’t be here long enough for you to have to worry about lecturing them Lucan, though they really should learn to mind their own business.”
He shut the door carefully and followed Lucan back into the room, nodding briefly in response to the business matters. Business wasn’t really something he wanted to deal with at the moment, but then it could have been worse. Lucan could have wanted to discuss Usagi and the current situation, or something equally as painful. He had just taken a seat when of course, it got worse and Lucan did indeed bring up the queen.
Mamoru didn’t really think of anything to do with Usagi as business, which was why it had surprised him to hear Lucan bring her up. If he had really been thinking properly he more then likely would have expected it. After all, what other business would Lucan come about if not about her?
He stiffened in surprise at Lucan’s words, the thought of a future spouse and dependants, not necessarily for him but for Usagi brought up images he would rather not have. His gaze darkened with pain for just an instant before he was able to collect himself once again. In an effort to clear away those particular thoughts Mamoru snapped irritably, “That doesn’t sound like something you should have to worry about Lucan. Couldn’t you have just sent someone else down here to take care of that? Besides, I’m not exactly anyone important anymore. Why would I or anyone that might be my responsibility in the future need to be bothered with Secret Service protection?”
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Mar 11, 2009 17:19:03 GMT -5
Mamoru shrugged at Lucan’s comment about the servants, not wishing to think about them anymore. However, he did agree with the idea of having them sign confidentiality agreements though he didn’t say anything more about them.
At Lucan’s mention of his current temperament, Mamoru did have the good grace to at least attempt to wrestle his anger back down to a manageable level. He was perfectly aware that none of this was Lucan’s fault and therefore it wasn’t really fair to take it out on him. He nodded quietly at the explanation of why Lucan had come instead of sending someone else and figured that it was probably a good idea that he had. If it had been anyone else they probably wouldn’t have gotten through the door in the first place. Lucan had the benefit of the fact that Mamoru respected him, any of his subordinates wouldn’t really have had that.
Mamoru stayed quiet through much of Lucan’s words, nodding every now and then to show that he was listening. In a way Mamoru did understand what was being said or at least he could understand. Everything that Lucan said was true, there were probably people out there that would consider him a great target especially if he wasn’t protected. However, that didn’t mean that he wanted to live his life constantly under the Secret Service’s watch. He wanted away from the palace and everything that would remind him of his life here, that included being away from the people that were in a sense working for Usagi.
He stubbornly shook his head and muttered, “It’s not that I don’t appreciate everything you are saying Lucan, but I was leaving the palace to get away from things that reminded me of a life I can’t have anymore. Bringing you and your securities with me wouldn’t really accomplish that very well. I was out most of yesterday without any trouble at all, I'm sure that I will be fine.”
He paused a moment before adding darkly, "A traitor to the crown wouldn't deserve such protection in the first place, since that is what Usagi thinks of me she shouldn't be concerned with my well being."
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Mar 12, 2009 1:24:56 GMT -5
Mamoru frowned when Lucan mentioned that it hadn’t been in the news yesterday. He was right of course and Mamoru knew it. Lucan also seemed to be attempting to work within whatever parameters that he set out, such as not wanting to see anything that would remind him of Usagi. He would have liked to just shrug off the entire thing and continue his refusal, but perhaps he really ought to at least consider Lucan’s request. Finally he just sighed and said, “All I can give you right now is that I’ll consider it ..”
He watched Lucan tensely after his last remark, curious to see how the man would react. Mamoru was very much aware that Lucan was very dedicated to protecting Usagi. That was one of the many reasons that he respected him so much. In theory, Lucan wouldn’t want anything more to do with him if he were a supposed traitor to the queen, at least until he could find out more.
Therefore Mamoru was somewhat surprised when he didn’t see any visual reaction. In fact, Lucan continued the conversation calmly, going so far as to say that had Usagi not suggested it he would have come on his own to convince him to take on protection. Mamoru relaxed just a little bit, wondering once again if perhaps he really should take up the offer of security.
He tensed once again when Lucan mentioned breaking up with his fiancee just before moving there. This was something that Mamoru had not heard before and he vagually wondered why Lucan was bringing it up now. Lucan had never opened up to him before about his personal life and he was fairly certain that he didn’t particularly open up to most people. In that respect he supposed they were a lot a like, Mamoru didn’t really like opening up to people either.
Mamoru very nearly snapped spitefully that there wasn’t anyone that could understand how he was feeling. However, he resisted the urge to throw Lucan’s confession back at him. There wasn’t any reason to take out his anger on Lucan, especially since the man was opening up to him.
He remained silent for a long moment, struggling with his own inner demons. Sharing his thoughts and feelings wasn’t his strong point, but then that was what had gotten him into this mess wasn’t it? Finally he shifted uncomfortably and said, “I guess you can understand then that there are too many memories here, ones that I’d rather forget.”
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Mar 12, 2009 15:47:23 GMT -5
Mamoru nodded in understanding, though he wasn’t certain how to really respond to Lucan’s words. He could ask Lucan if he had ever truly stopped thinking about this Felicia, if the move had succeeding in making things better and allowed him the fresh start he had wanted. He could ask him that, but then Mamoru didn’t really need to.
He already knew the answer. Mamoru was certain that he would never stop loving Usagi, therefore the memories he had with her would always be there. It didn’t matter how far he fled, there would always be something to remind him of what he had lost. He had no doubt that his life would go back to being as hollow and empty as it once was before he had met Usagi, only this time it would be worse because he would always have the memories of what he could have had.
“I loved her. She was my light, my reason for everything but I’ve hurt her and drove her away. I won’t ever forget her ...”
He sighed miserably, before doing what he did best and retreating behind the wall he had built long ago to keep people at a distance. He felt somewhat better knowing that someone else could at least understand some of what he was feeling, but he wasn’t comfortable enough to share anymore. It was far better to get this conversation back to safer ground and so he brought it back to the professional level by asking, “I can contact you later if I decide to agree to your Secret Service protection correct?”
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Post by Chiba Mamoru on Mar 13, 2009 0:06:02 GMT -5
Mamoru nodded in understanding, taking the card and pocketing it as he did so. He didn’t bother telling Lucan how to contact him because Lucan had already confirmed that should he wish to find him he would be able to do so easily. There just didn’t seem to be a need to give out that kind of information when more then likely unless he chose to take the offer of protection there wouldn’t ever be any reason for Lucan to contact him.
“Thanks Lucan, for everything ...”
Mamoru stood up ready to show his visitor out but he hesitated at the door and added, "take care of her please.”
He wouldn’t be there to make certain Usagi was safe and that she took care of herself, though he knew that the senshi would be. There were things that he knew that Lucan would be able to spot that the senshi just weren’t use to dealing with.
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