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Post by Kino Makoto on Apr 10, 2009 14:32:32 GMT -5
Makoto had finished her conversation with Ami and Hotaru and was now trying to find where Usagi had gotten off to after the receiving line had disbanded. She didn’t have too much time left before she was supposed to meet Nathaniel in the gardens, and she was only getting more nervous by the minute. Usagi needed to know what was going on before… Well, before something bad happened. Or maybe something good? Who knows. She just needed her Queen, and she needed her now.
Weaving in and out of the now large crowd of people within the ballroom, some of whom were already dancing, she searched for that familiar pair of odangoes. Finally she spotted them, off to the side near where the receiving line had been. Of course she was still surrounded by some people, but that was no matter. This was important and she was sure Usagi would understand.
She squeezed past a few more people and came to stand beside Usagi, smiling to those who were speaking. She lightly placed her hand on Usagi’s arm and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Usagi-chan, I need to speak with you…privately. It’s rather urgent.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 10, 2009 15:15:37 GMT -5
The receiving line had disbanded after just half an hour, though Usagi had stepped out a few minutes before that, after greeting several guests that came after Mamoru. The line of guests still waiting to be lead through looked rather disappointed, but most of the VIPs had already come, and there was such a thing as being unfashionably late. The rest would have to just sulk, because Usagi and her ministers had no intention of standing around for an hour or more. Her hand was practically numb by the time she got out of there, but what was even number was her mind.
Mamoru was here. It was the single, fixed thought in her head since his infuriatingly handsome frame had first had the nerve to swagger into her field of vision this night. Politeness, professional relationships be damned-- it just wasn't fair! She should be cold and aloof and confident, and scorn his every glance. She was still so furious, which made everything harder. Perhaps she had hoped in her rage and righteous indignation that he would appear less handsome, less desirable, less the man she had fallen in love with and more the unreachable rogue that barreled into her quarters days ago.
How dare he come here and remind her of all she had lost! How dare he say her name as if he hadn't thrown her heart away! Even more disconcerting was the fact that she still gave a damn about his opinion. Nerves shuddered to life in an emotional efflorescence, making her slow down and take small, mincing steps, making her analyze every move and motion, because... he could be watching. She didn't even know what she wanted him to think of her, all that mattered was that he might, and she could barely stand it.
The first thing Usagi did was snatch two flutes of champagne from the server going around that part of the ballroom. She downed one, and then the other, fast enough that no one paid it any attention. Depositing the empty two on the next server's tray, she stuffed an hors d'oeuvre into her mouth, just to absorb some of the alcohol. The carbonated nature of the sparkling wine sent some of it straight to her head, and she began to relax a little. God, I needed that. Just to keep the edge off...
Of course, her Queenly responsibilities didn't stop at talking with VIPs and playing hostess. An aide whispered in her ear, she talked with another minister to solve the problem, he delegated it to someone else, and she found herself talking with a famous judge and Minister Sawyer, laughing at his crazy stories. It was still business, but at least she was beginning to relax and have fun, and not think about Mamoru ever other second. Just every other five.
That was where Mako-chan found her. Usagi glanced quizzically in her direction, and nodded slightly as she whispered in her ear. "Of course," Usagi muttered back under her breath, and then smiled widely. "If you all will be so kind as to excuse me, I have something I need to attend to. Don't get to the punchline before I get back, Jim!" Usagi warned Sawyer with a grin.
"Wouldn't dream of it, your Majesty," he returned in his customary drawl, mouth quirked up in a lazy smile. The others just laughed politely, and parted for Usagi to leave with Makoto. It was all the same to them, they were used to her being pulled aside by aides whispering in her ear, something coming up-- most of them dealt with the same types of things in their own lives.
Usagi stepped outside of the ballroom. The only people around were a few scarce, busy servants and security. "What is it Mako-chan?" Usagi asked quietly, gently touching her friend's elbow. "Is everything alright?" Silently, she wondered if her friend knew that Mamoru was here, or if this was somehow related to him... All of her thoughts lead in that direction; a fact she was increasingly aware of and frustrated with.
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Post by Kino Makoto on Apr 10, 2009 15:32:29 GMT -5
Makoto followed Usagi into the hallway. She smiled at the warm touch, but it quickly faded as she prepared to share what was going on. “Yes. No. I don’t know!” She sighed. “We may or may not have another Shitennou in our midsts.”
She lowered her voice, knowing they were in a somewhat empty hallway and did not want the sound to carry. “It’s Nathaniel Bernhardt. The man that’s believed to be Nephrite. He’s here. And he doesn’t look good.” Her head dropped, looking down at the ground. “And I think it’s my fault.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 10, 2009 16:04:41 GMT -5
Usagi's eyes widened as Makoto launched into a contradictory, emotional, question-filled blurt about Shitennou, Nathaniel Bernhardt, and whether or not she was at fault.
Heaving out a long breath, Usagi counted to ten and then rested her hands on Makoto's shoulders, wanting her to calm down. That's two for four, Usagi thought distantly. Khalid and Nathaniel were here, it was possible that Jadeite was as well, what with Mamoru attending and all.
Dammit, could she go but a few seconds without thinking his name?!
Swallowing a few swear words that rose to her lips at Mamoru's unwelcome presence in her mind, Usagi peered intently into Makoto's eyes, trying to force the other woman to look at her directly.
"Mako-chan. Look at me. Let's not worry about fault right now, okay? Just tell me what's going on, and start at the beginning," she advised calmly. Oh, wouldn't it just be rich if they had another Shitennou this night?
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Post by Kino Makoto on Apr 10, 2009 16:40:42 GMT -5
Makoto looked into her Queen’s eyes, as requested and somehow felt calmed by it. Usagi was always good at lightening the mood, no matter what. Now had been no different, and she was thankful for that. She needed all the calming she could get after this past week.
“The beginning…” She trailed off. When did it begin? A few thousand years ago? A week ago? A couple days ago? Time was ticking, painfully fast at that, so she needed to talk fast.
“A few days ago, after you and Rei called the meeting to discuss the Shitennou’s return… I went out with Nathaniel that night.” She winced and looked back down, guilt falling upon her for not being more up-front with Usagi. “I know I should have said something. But prior to that meeting, it was only supposed to be dinner with a new acquaintance. I was so shaken up at the revelations of who he may have been… Even after the fact, everything just happened so fast and with all the preparations for tonight going on… I think I was just in denial. I don’t know. I’m still so confused by everything.”
She was rambling. Taking a deep breath she looked back to Usagi for that calmness she needed. Fortunately it was still there, as it always was. She continued, “Anyways, he was searching for answers as to why he had such strange feelings here in Tokyo…and why those feelings intensified around me. He was convinced that I was the key to unlock whatever he was being kept from. Armed with the information Ami had given as to our past, and with the slips of memories of that past that I’d been having... I suppose I said too much to him. I made some comment about talking to the stars, and that’s when he became rather distressed.” Makoto frowned, recalling just how ill he’d become as the night progressed after that.
Despite the memory, she kept going. “We went to his apartment to continue the conversation. I felt it wouldn’t be appropriate to say anything else while we were in a public place, and as pale as he’d become I figured it would be best to get him somewhere safe. As soon as we’d entered his home, he was questioning me again. He said he had a right to know about his life, and I couldn’t disagree with that. I’d felt the same way, always wanting to remember the past and never being able to. But the more I talked, the worse he looked. I just couldn’t bring myself to tell him everything. I was scared. I told him I couldn’t go any further, but he kept pushing me. He… He…” She could feel herself losing her composure, so she stopped for a moment and took in a deep breath, then exhaled just as deeply.
She closed her eyes, thinking somehow that would block the pain of the memory. It didn’t, but she had no choice but to continue. Usagi needed to know everything. “He kissed me again. And again. And again. And he asked me questions over and over about his past, my past, our past. He called me by my name…my other name. And then… And then I remembered everything. All of the memories I had been waiting for hit me with full force. And as they flooded my mind, one stood out.” She opened her eyes and gazed into Usagi’s. “He killed me.”
That was no place to stop though. She’d come this far, she needed to finish the story. She broke the gaze and continued, looking back down at the ground again. “It was just too much to handle at once. So I left. I grabbed my coat and I left him there. And that’s where it ended... until just a little while ago. He’s here, and he made his presence known to me and he still wants to talk.”
She took another deep breath. “So I’m going to talk to him. He’s meeting me in the gardens shortly. I have no idea what is going to happen. If he doesn’t remember already, he’s damn close. I’ve asked Ami and Hotaru to stay close, should anything occur. But I felt it was necessary to bring it to your attention fully… just in case.”
Makoto looked back to Usagi, her eyes pleading. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 10, 2009 18:03:33 GMT -5
Usagi listened intently, not having any time to react to one revelation before another would come spilling out of Makoto's mouth. She resisted the urge to groan-- her friend and senshi had been in so much emotional turmoil-- and, potentially, danger, and she had never known. This whole Shitennou thing was being grossly mismanaged, if there was a proper way to manage it-- and now Makoto was going to meet this guy?! It was insane!
What was done was done, and she couldn't be angry at Makoto for it now-- poor woman was confused and emotional, and who wouldn't be? Usagi's first reaction was draw her into a long embrace, letting out another sigh and just holding her friend close for several minutes in silence. Makoto was the most important thing here, and she had to make sure that her friend knew it-- before she reacted further.
"I understand," Usagi said simply, finally pulling away and once more making eye contact. "Thank you for telling me now, and please, in the future-- don't hold back. Mako-chan-- it's your life, and he's your past lover and all of that; unfortunately... This affects all of us. I'll tell you what I told Minako-chan, we just can't rush headlong into this. We have to consider all of our options and start thinking several moves ahead. Otherwise all we'll do is have damage control." Like tonight, she thought to herself with a grimace.
She dearly wished for the luxury of tears and pouting and wailing. Life seemed so much simpler, even as Sailormoon, when she could sulk and let Luna and the rest of them sort it out. But, by the time Galaxia came around she had grown out of that. And now that she was Queen, it was a luxury she no longer had. Usagi had to lead from the front, not the rear.
"I wish we had time to further discuss this-- I'm worried about you," Usagi began, resting her hand on Makoto's shoulder. "But we don't, so forgive me for skipping right to the chase. You don't owe this guy anything. You hear me? You don't have to do anything that you don't want to. You can show up and say you don't want to talk, you can send someone out, you can take someone with you-- hell, I'll go if you want me to. Mako-chan, if you don't think this is a good idea, it's probably not. I will trust you and your judgment because we just don't have time to hash it out, we need to make a decision now. But look at me. We need every advantage we can get; and we can't just go walking into these things blindly! I need you to think, and fast. Is this going to help us or hurt us? Because I don't think we can say with any certainty that it will help or hurt him."
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Post by Kino Makoto on Apr 10, 2009 18:38:43 GMT -5
Makoto returned Usagi’s hug with as much fervor as she could. It felt good to be in the embrace of someone who cared, someone who loved her unconditionally and would understand the turmoil she was currently under.
She felt Usagi pull away, and was reluctant to release her at first but knew she couldn’t hide here forever. Returning Usagi’s eye contact, she nodded at the advice she was given. “I promise Usagi-chan. I never meant to hold anything back from you or the others, but it won’t happen again. I’m so sorry.”
She offered a slight smile as Usagi placed her hand upon her shoulder. “Please don’t worry about me. It’ll all be alright, I know it will.” Usagi continued, forcing her to keep her gaze on her eyes. She nodded through everything she was told, taking it all in and appreciating the honesty she was given. Usagi trusted her to make the right choice. The problem was, would she be alright with the choice she made?
“I can’t say that this will help us yet because I don’t know. However, I don’t think it will hurt us either.” She looked away for a moment and took another long, deep breath before meeting her Queen’s gaze again. “I want to do this, Usagi-chan.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 10, 2009 19:00:15 GMT -5
"Don't worry about it," Usagi smiled comfortingly. "What's important is that you're safe, and okay, Mako-chan... at least as best you can be considering the circumstances. I just want to make sure that we keep you that way!"
It was Usagi's turn to nod when Makoto said she didn't think it would hurt them. Usagi disagreed; she could think of many ways that it could, but as she said before, there was no time to hash that out. Makoto seemed intent on doing this, and she knew that when it was all distilled down, she would stick to her word and honor Makoto's decision.
She just had to be sure. They both had to be sure.
Usagi put her other hand on Makoto's shoulder, still not breaking eye contact. "I hear you," she said slowly. "And I promise I will honor your final decision. But I need to know, and you need to know.... Take what little time we have to really consider this. I know I'm a total hypocrite saying this, but on what basis are you making this decision? Is it because you feel sorry for him, you empathize with him, you don't want to hurt him, you think he might have a right to his memories? Is it because of the past? What I'm really trying to say is-- are you acting emotionally? Or is this what you believe is the right and reasonable thing to do, as a sailor senshi and as a human being? I know more than anyone that love and betrayal and the feelings that come with both are often reason enough. But we need to lead our hearts, not follow them."
She recalled that Shakespeare quote that had been drilled into them in college English class-- 'To thine own self be true, and it will follow, as night the day, thou can not then be false to any man.' It seemed both true and ironic at the moment. "If you can look at me and tell me that you believe this is the right thing to do-- with your heart, your gut, and your head, then I will support you one hundred and one percent."
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Post by Kino Makoto on Apr 10, 2009 19:33:09 GMT -5
“It’ll be okay, Usagi-chan. I’ll be okay.” She gave the best smile she could as reassurance.
Makoto was surprised however, when Usagi’s other hand gripped her other shoulder and she pressed further. She couldn’t blame her for wanting to be absolutely sure that her “Senshi of Protection” was making the right decision. Her head and her heart told her it was, though she wasn’t sure she understood why.
She looked her Queen, her leader, dead in the eye. “This is the right thing to do. I honestly, truly believe it.”
And Makoto meant every word.
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 10, 2009 19:40:54 GMT -5
Usagi nodded slowly as Makoto delivered it to her straight. "Alright, then. Let's do this." She let her arms drop, reaching inside her sleeve and pulling out her communicator with a smile.
"Listen, I have this on me. Even when I make the dress change later tonight, I will have this on me. The moment something goes down, you let us know. I mean it. Don't be a hero, don't wait and see-- if something is happening, I want to know, okay? Now you be careful out there, understand? And I'll want a full debrief afterward. I'll tell Lucan to have security give you some space," Usagi said with a slight grimace. That was not going to go down well, she'd have to be picky about what she would divulge to him, at least at first.
"Let me know if you need anything else. I am at your disposal." And, by extension, so were the powers of her office. Usagi blushed, realizing how crisp and commanding she was coming off as. "Sorry, not trying to be so bossy..."
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Post by Kino Makoto on Apr 10, 2009 21:22:40 GMT -5
Makoto offered a smile of her own as Usagi pulled out her communicator. She nodded at Usagi’s request and just as a reassurance, she hiked up her dress to show her own communicator strapped to her right thigh along with her henshin wand. “I will let you know the moment something happens…if anything at all. If I can’t, I will make sure Ami does. She will be standing by, with Hotaru.”
She slightly winced at the mention of Lucan and security. She wasn’t too keen on the fact that they may need to get involved. But at least Usagi was going to have them keep their distance. The thought crossed her mind that all this was a bit much, though she supposed that one could never be too cautious. Instead of raising a stink, she just smiled and nodded. “Thank you, Usagi-chan. You’re not being bossy at all. The circumstances are… tough right now, so it’s all understandable.”
She gave Usagi another hug. “I suppose I should go. We’ve both been away long enough, and I’m sure he’ll be waiting for me. Please don’t worry, I know it’ll all be fine. Thank you again, Usagi-chan.” Before turning to go back into the ballroom, she offered one last smile. “For everything.”
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Post by Neo Queen Serenity on Apr 10, 2009 21:58:58 GMT -5
Usagi made a growling noise, raising her eyebrows a few times at Makoto as she hiked up her dress. "Look at you, all femme fatale!" Grinning evilly, she reached over and 'felt' Makoto up. "Yeah, I don't have to worry about you! Thigh holster, baby!" She gave Makoto a playful slap on the derriere and winked, trying to diffuse the situation through humor.
She nodded at the mention of Hotaru and Ami, feeling better knowing that they would be present. "Good, I'm glad to hear that. I'll see you soon, then. Take care. And you're welcome!" she added, following Makoto into the ballroom, though going a different way. She needed another drink, and this time it had better be something stronger than champagne. Her night was turning out to be anything but a party.
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